I nearly choked on my muesli when I first read the rant in question. But then I realised I was reading the Guardian, therefore it was completely irrelevant. Or was it?

A controversial issue in recent years, the Haka has raised much debate amongst the 57 old farts from almost every union in the world. Prior to the 2003 world cup, the IRB felt the Haka provided too much of an advantage to New Zealand and promptly sought to ban the performance during the tournament, of course they failed miserably and most will agree that the resulting confrontation of Ka Mate vs. Sipi Tau was one of the most exciting build-ups to a match in years. When considering the game would have been a dead squib, amazingly it’ll always be remembered.

Then of course the was the Australian (specifically, John Connollys) objection in 2006 to Kapa O Pango’s final movement of "hauora", drawing the breath of life into the heart and lungs, although because of the action throat slit movement was deemed aggressive and had no place in sport, yet to the Māori has a significantly different meaning. Ironic an Australian should complain so soon after the infamous handbag incident, but I digress.

Through all of this the Haka has continued, right through he days of the Pākehā performing what was little more then a Morris dance in the early 20th century and before up to now with the NZ Māori performing the traditional Timatanga and the All Blacks putting the fear of god into their opponents. Now however the Haka faces its greatest threat yet… The power of socialist envy.

You know the sort of people; They live in a sub-urban paradise and work in the public sector. They’re the people who are all for this non-existent social nirvana of “multiculturalism” but wouldn’t hesitate to kick up a fuss should a mosque be built within 10 miles of their house. Those people who believe the score lines at childrens football matches should always be reset to 0-0 so nobody has to loose. The people who want every thing but aren’t willing to work for it. Basically, they’re busybodies.

The busybody I’m referring to is a certain Frank Keating. He’s a senior sports hack for the Guardian and covers what would be considered by the uneducated as “upper-middleclass sports” (Rugby, Cricket etc.). Well, when I say covers, I mean he waffles on about nothing showing the same informed opinion as your typical redtop journo making it his personal quest to create controversy as though The Guardian was his personal blog.

Reading this article (CLICK HERE), it makes me sick to the teeth and frankly ashamed to come from the same planet as this deplorable man. He ruthlessly picks on anything and everything he can to imply the Haka is nothing to do with New Zealand because the sport was predominantly played by European colonials at the turn of the 20th century and uses that for the basis of his entire argument. The racist undertones and thuggish picture he vividly paints of the Kiwis would enough to convert the easily lead into believing the country is like somewhere out of the Fallout video games. The Haka, in the world of this autonomous hack, is an evil war dance latched onto by the wannabes which should be as deplorable as declaring a Jihad.

However I believe those of us with a balanced sense of reason see it as something different.

When I first saw the Haka as a youngster (which can’t have been long after Buck Shelford decided the All Blacks should learn and perform a traditional dance instead of the hop-skip-and-jump which came before Ka Mate), I was enthralled. It was what inspired me to learn more about “that funny game with the odd shaped ball”, which in turn got me hooked onto the game and pretty much shaped my life out (almost everything I have in my little world outside of work I can trace back to rugby). I first saw a proper Haka in the flesh when the NZ Māori performed Timatanga about 18 months ago prior to playing against Canada in the Churchill cup, and once again… Wow.

The energy that the 22 players gave off was immense. The arena filled with the sound of the Māori chants and the slap of beating chests. The atmosphere, despite the stadium only being half full, could be cut with a knife. The Māori were pumped up, the Cannuks were pumped up and the fans were going ballistic. The Māori did a demolition job on the Canadians by the end, but the Haka made the game special. Exactly the same thing as mentioned above when Tonga replied to Ka Mate in 2003.

We’ve seen 2 superb Haka related moments in the past week when the All Blacks have faced off both Munster and Wales. First of all at Thommund Park, the Kiwi contingent in Munsters lineup performed Ka Mate at the All Blacks… All 4 of them! What ensued was the best game of rugby to happen all year. Then in Cardiff, much in my suspicion to the orders of Warren Gatland, Wales and New Zealand squared off and needed to be physically separated after the All Blacks performed Kapa O Pango. The atmosphere in the Millennium stadium went through the closed-off roof and a superb game of rugby ensued.

The Haka is a key part of the arura that goes around the All Blacks and rightfully has its place in the sports. There is a good reason that they have the burden of being the best team in any sport in the world; They earned that moniker. They are indeed the best.

So if you want to claim that you’re better, you’d best face down the challenge and prove it. In the brutal and dangerous sport of Rugby, are you man enough? The Haka is the All Blacks way of saying, in a language that maybe a muesli munching, North Londoner wearing his sandals and working in the public sector may understand as… “Come and have a go if you think you’re hard enough!”

Invariably, Frank Keating isn’t.

Kia Kaha

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