50 different things that girls wish guys knew - And how we would respond

Discussion in 'The Clubhouse Bar' started by Bullitt, Nov 8, 2007.

  1. Bullitt

    Bullitt Guest

    A list of 50 different things that girls wish guys knew - And how we would respond

    1. When you see a girl with huge knockers, do not go "Damn!" and then laugh appreciatively to yourself - we can hear you.

    - Yeah, you were supposed to!

    2. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

    - Whenever possible, please remember this fact when I'm watching Die Hard, the Rugby etc.

    3. If you don't act like soap-opera guys, don't expect us to dress like Victoria Secret models.

    - You want us to act like Grant Mitchell? What?

    4. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.

    - Christmas, Easter, Bank Holidays, This seasons Fixture list... What's missing?

    5. There is no such thing as too much spooning.

    - Even at 4 in the mornig?

    6. Just because you L the C doesn't mean we have to S the D.

    - Just because we E the M doesn't mean you have to spend it all.

    7. This is how we see it . . . Don't call = Don't Care.

    - This is how we see it... Don't call = We're out on the **** with our mates.

    8. Which also means that if we don't call, take the hint.

    - Sorry, while out on the **** I met another bird. She didn't have a fat ass.

    9. We like you to be a little jealous . . . but overly possessive is not necessary.

    - We like you to be loyal... Getting off with some other bloke is not necessary.

    10. Putting things in our butt does not turn us on.

    - Oh, really? You didn't say that in private.

    11. Return favors: we massage, you massage; we shave, you shave (and not just your face).

    - Funny you should mention my face...

    12. Foreplay is not an option . . . its a prerequisite.

    - So is my dinner.

    13. We're allowed to be late . . . you are not.

    We're allowed to leave with another chick before you turn up.

    14. Eye contact is key.

    - Don't put your tits on display then.


    15. Don't take longer to get ready than we do.

    - Sorry sweetheart, if your man takes longer to get ready to get ready then we do, he's gay. Deal with it.

    16. Laugh at our jokes.

    - Tell a funny one then.

    17. Three words . . . honesty, honesty, honesty.

    - Tell me, how many men have you slept with?

    18. Girls can be groupies. Guy groupies are stalkers.

    - No love, you're still stalkers.

    19. We never have to wonder if your orgasm was real.

    We never have to care if your orgasm was real.

    20. Do not start with us. You will not win... not kidding .. we ALWAYS win

    - Crying doesn't constitute winning.

    21. Would you like it if a guy treated your sister that way? We didn't think so.

    - Spent all his money on her then had her bite his head off? I'd feel sorry for the poor bugger.

    22. If you ask nicely, we usually answer the same way.

    - Yeah, right.

    23. We will never have enough clothes or shoes! Ever!

    - You would if your ass didn't keep growing.

    24. We have an excuse to act bitchy at least once a month. Come on guys...most of you have more PMS then us girls..

    - We have to deal with a bitchy female once a month.

    25. Open the door for us no matter where we are . . . even at our house and getting into the car. I know it seems like a lot but is it that hard?

    - I'll open the front door for you any time you like.

    26. We love surprises!

    - Please see Rule 10.

    27. We liked to be kissed softly, not with an iron tongue.

    - We like a BJ without losing an inch.

    28.Pay attention to the little things we do, because they mean the most.

    - A little is all you ever do.

    29. Boxers and maybe boxer briefs sometiems . . . NEVER whitey-tighties, NEVER!

    - French knickers and Thongs sometimes... NEVER big pants!

    30. Clean your room before we come over.

    - No

    31. Always brush your teeth before you see us . . . a fresh mouth and white teeth are a necessity plus we do the same for you.

    - Always wash your crotch before you expect us to take a trip down there...

    32. When we use our teeth it means that you suck at going down on us, so we are just returning the favor.

    - Have a wash and we may be willing to keep our heads down there longer.

    33. Even though you are sometimes insensitive and hurt us, we still love you with everything we are.

    - Oh really?

    34. Sometimes even when you think we hate you, we don't, we just want you to apologize so we can be allowed to love you again

    - Appologise for something you did?

    35. Don't act hard around your friends because I won't make you hard tonight. AKA don't be an ass

    - Don't act like a slapper around your friends AKA Don't be a slut.

    36. Sometimes "NO!" really means "NO!"

    - Wish you'd learn that one.

    37. "Wife Beaters" are not an adequate form of fashion.

    - Maybe not, but occasionally it's a tempting pass time.

    38. If we wanted to be on video tape, we'd be a porn star not your girlfriend.

    - And after going off and sleeping with my best mate, you're about to become an internet porn star! Congratulations!

    39. Sensitive guys are great . . . but crying more than we do in a movie just isn't right.

    - Look, We can't help it... Halle Berrys tits are so much better then yours, we only just realised what we're missing.

    40. Don't let ex-girlfriends cause drama, relationships are stressful enough!!!!!

    - Don't make me kick your ex-boyfriend in the ******** for turning up at my house at 3am

    41. It takes a special kind of stupid to forget birthdays.

    - Only a child sees birthdays as anything but a countdown timer until they're dead. Get over it.

    42. Guys who are good cuddlers = guys who know how to satisfy a woman.

    - So that's why you keep a 10" rampant rabbit in your knicker drawer?

    43. "Fat Chicks" have feelings too--all chicks have feelings.

    - But not enough common sense not to wear hotpants.

    44. Silent treatment + shoulder shrugs + tears + yelling + nasty looks = YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG!

    - Such as breath.

    45. If you are not a good dancer, please be self-aware.

    - Don't keep whinging at us too then.

    46. Just because a girl doesn't pick up on the first ring doesn't mean she's not waiting by the phone.

    - Just because our phone is turned off doesn't mean we're not sleeping with your sister.

    47. You don't have to spend a lot, if it means a lot.

    - Because you can do all the spending for us, I'm sure.

    48. Don't say you love me if you don't mean it.

    - Don't bribe me into saying it for sex then.

    49. Don't lie to us . . . we will catch you...eventually we always catch you.

    - So, how many men have you slept with?

    50. When the girls get together, we talk about EVERYTHING. Meaning my best friends knows everything about you.

    - Trust me, she probably already knew.
     
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  3. SecondRow04

    SecondRow04 Guest

    lmao!

    very good!!

    :cheers:
     
  4. RC

    RC Guest

    Lol!
    There were a couple of a good ones in there.
     
  5. classic ****. :lol:
     
  6. Laetca

    Laetca Guest

    They all sound so stereotypical :p
    I hope no one actually ever heard any of those phrases coming out a girl's mouth, if you ever heard more than 10 out of the same girl's mouth, then run for the hills, she's seen too many soap operas to be real.
     
  7. Dmx#1

    Dmx#1 Guest

    Hahahaha i enjoyed that, however you need to stop hating on woman with fat asses.
     
  8. Caledfwlch

    Caledfwlch Guest

    Classic!



    But am I the only one to notice that the topic title says "Replying in A list of 51 different things that girls wish guys knew", but there are only 50 items on the list!
     
  9. Brodizzle

    Brodizzle Guest

    Yeah I noticed, that, but I didn't want to embarrass Teh Mite, coz he worked hard on the rest of it
     
  10. funny thing is that i can relate to over half of them.
     
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