Calling all Māori members - Urgent

Discussion in 'The Clubhouse Bar' started by Bullitt, Aug 19, 2008.

  1. Bullitt

    Bullitt Guest

    This weekend I’m required to turn up to a fancy dress event, where the theme is historical costume from approximately 2000 years ago, and have until now been stuck… Then I have 2 great ideas.

    -Cassivellaunus, the king of the Britons who fended off Ceasers invasion attempts. So a simple celtic outfit / tartan cloak and a cheep sword/shield combo from toys’r’us would suffice, but will be done 100 times over by 100 different people,
    -A Māori warrior.

    Now, I’m preferring the second option at the moment (we’ll ignore my pasty white skin or the fact I couldn’t barely pass as a Mancunian, let alone a Māori) but I need to know a couple of things form any members who have a better understanding then I do.

    First, any tattoo designs I draw on myself; Are there specific patterns (arm, face etc) that I’d need to follow to look authentic?

    Second, Can anyone post up the words to Ka Mate pho-ne-tic-ally for me? (For a related event on the evening which gave me the idea)

    Any help will be much appreciated. Cheers.
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  3. KZNSharksFan

    KZNSharksFan Guest

    If you're a stickler for detail, you wont be able to go as a Maori because the ancestors of the Maori (Pacific islanders) only arrived in NZ around the turn of the first millenium. But, who cares, the other people there won't know that, and if so, will likely be too inebriated to care (i'm guessing).

    Can't help with advice for clothing though, sorry
  4. Bullitt

    Bullitt Guest

    Oh balls... In that case, if I get the look right it'll have to be good enough.
  5. nam97

    nam97 Guest

    I can't really help you here but this is an awesome idea. Be sure to post pictures!
  6. stan_stan

    stan_stan Guest

    Just put moko in google images and there should be some ideas to draw on your face.
  7. Fa'atau82

    Fa'atau82 Guest

    I will do the ka mate phonetics for you, mite.
  8. Bullitt

    Bullitt Guest

    Nice one blue. ASAP on that one though please, I've got to (first learn then) teach a dozen people it before Saturday!
  9. fcukernaut

    fcukernaut Guest

    Nothing say authentic like 13 crackers with English accents doing the haka.
  10. bates

    bates Guest

    The Haka, you can find on the site of the All Blacks: concerning tattoo's: you have the Spiral, Fishbone, Fern etc...

    I would recommand Google.
  11. Fa'atau82

    Fa'atau82 Guest

    Kah mar-te Ka mar-te, Kah ora Kah ora

    Kah mar-te Ka mar-te, Kah ora Kah ora

    Tehney teh tangatta poo whooru whooru

    Nana ney e tikky may

    Whakka whitti tey rar

    Ah ooh parne, kah ooh parne

    Ah oo parne, kau parne whitti teh rar

    (some kind of deep gruff sounding like HOOO!)

    mp3 is here

    Did you want the movements too?
  12. Bullitt

    Bullitt Guest

    Nothing say authentic like 13 crackers with English accents doing the haka.

    Hardly the end of the world, the yanks have been ripping it off for years.

    Besides, there'll be 13 different accents doing it!

    Nah, I'm okay with the movements thanks. What about the lead calls at the beginning?
  13. Fa'atau82

    Fa'atau82 Guest

    Lead calls..

    Rinn-ga pack-iya
    Ooma teeraha
    Toori wharrtia
    Hop-eh wayy akeh
    wayway tahka he-a key-a keeno

    You need someone like Tana Umaga to scream it to really scare the crap out of the crowd!
  14. jawmalawm24

    jawmalawm24 Guest

    Theres heaps of ways you can lead a Haka usually when the All Blacks lead it they use this way. I'll try do it phonetically or whatever it is:

    tar-ring-a f***-a-roarng-or
    key-a ree-tear
    key-a ree-tear
    key-a mow
    Hee!!!! (simultaneously)
    ring-a par-key-a
    par-key-a par-key-a
    why-why tar-car-he-a
    key-a key-nor nay whore-key
    a-ha ear-key-nor nay whore-key (simultaneously)

    aha ka mate ka mate.....
  15. Fa'atau82

    Fa'atau82 Guest

    Yeh, that is the one on my earsc site's haka intro, but i couldn't find the lead calls on wikipedia.
  16. candybum

    candybum Guest

    Not Weety, but feety lol
  17. Fa'atau82

    Fa'atau82 Guest

    I did try, but i am english and i'm no expert on Maori's.

    However, here is the english version of the Haka (called the 'Tikka') and has been passed down many generations of naked male drunken dickheads.

    On the left is the words and the right the movement. (Underneath in brackets is the lyrics meaning)

    Tikka leader starts with a stare down and by screaming..

    Chiken Tika'a Masala'a! - hands by the head, like steps' 'tragedy'
    (here comes the curry)

    Tika'a Tika'a Masala'a! - slaps own forehead with each palm once
    (i want the curry)

    OOF! - slaps hands on m00bs, and squeeze


    Burna mi ringa, burna mi ringa - Grab of the buttocks with both hands
    (i will eat the curry from the sun)

    Drinka the beer, oof, oof - left hand pint glass drinking action.
    (i will drink the amber rain of god)

    Drinka the beer, oof, oof - right hand pint glass drinking action.
    (i will drink the amber rain of god)

    OOF OOF OOF OOF - skipping type dance, a full 360
    (females! i am the almighty pillock)

    Taikina dump, shitana dump - squat low and pull straining dump face
    (glory to the shitty homeland)

    Pissana dump, pissana dump - gyrate the pelvis to make the penis swing
    (glory to the pissy homeland)


    Eata kebab, eata kebab NOM NOM - left hand feeding the mouth
    (the food from the shop i will plunder)

    Scoffa kebab, puika kebab NOM NOM - right hand feeding the mouth
    (the food from the shop i will chunder)

    Piuka Piuka Masala'a! - hands around the mouth ready to vomit
    (i am filled with rage and curry)

    Bleughgarbledrunkenwank - Fall flat on ass in a flowerbed with both hands on dick
    (rage the has **** tits and i need more ber)
  18. Fa'atau82

    Fa'atau82 Guest

    And also, the ancient Samoan version dates back centuries before the Siva Tau. It was used to decide what to have for dinner.

    Just the words.. translation is pretty bad.

    A burly fa'afafine in a cocktail dress starts the call..


    NOM NOM fia'ai palolo palolo -
    (i'm hungry for seaworms)

    NOM NOM fia'ai palolo palolo aiga!
    (all my family is hungry for seaworms)

    Fereti, Aumai pisupo fa'amolemole
    (get the tinned corned beef, please Fereti)

    Fia'ai oka
    (i'm hungry for oka)

    Fia'ai Ulu
    (i'm hungry for breadfruit)

    Vailima HOOO, vailima HOOO
    (Beer HOOO, beer HOOO)

    Aumai pa'ep'ae lua moa
    (Go get 2 chickens)

  19. candybum

    candybum Guest

    LOL! CheeeeeHooooOOOOOO haha great times
  20. Fa'atau82

    Fa'atau82 Guest

    I say tomato, you say toemato.
    i say choooohoooo, you say cheeeeehooooo.

    Am i retarded?
  21. candybum

    candybum Guest

    not at all? lol hmm
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