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Chuck Norris Can't Handle The Truth

M

melon

Guest
by Sarah Hall (E! NEWS) | Tue 25/12/07</span>[/b]


http://celebrities.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=340117


You can't fight the facts...unless you're Chuck Norris.

The martial artist and actor has sued Penguin Group and author Ian Spector over the book The Truth About Chuck Norris: 400 Facts About the World's Greatest Human, claiming the tome unfairly exploits his name. He is seeking to stop its distribution.

The book in question is based on a list of "mythical facts" compiled on the Internet that includes statements such as:

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
  • Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
  • Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
  • The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case, the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
  • On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
  • If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked," you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
A preface to the book, which was published Nov. 29, thanks Norris for "playing along." And indeed, a rep for Norris said last year he was aware of the tribute of sorts and found it to be "very flattering," while the man himself wrote on his blog that he "neither [took] offense nor [took] these things too seriously."

However, the tough-guy actor's goodwill apparently only extended to the list of so-called facts when they were contained in cyberspace. Now that they have evolved into book form, he's having a harder time getting the joke.

In his lawsuit, filed Friday in U.S. District Court in Manhattan, Norris claims he never authorized the use of his name, image or likeness in connection with the book.

Furthermore, he alleges that some of the "facts" wrongly portray him in a lewd or racist light or indicate that he engages in "illegal activities."

According to his court documents, Norris is seeking unspecified damages, a halt to publication and a recall of copies of the books already sold. Two Websites operated by Spector to promote the book, including chucknorrisfacts.com, are also named in the suit.

Though Norris is apparently unwilling to have the "facts" about him published in book form, he's not opposed to having them used to endorse his political candidate of choice.

The actor recently appeared in a humorous campaign ad for Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee, in which the two trade statements about each other back and forth.

"My plan to secure the border," says Huckabee..."two words: Chuck Norris."

"Mike Huckabee wants to put the IRS out of business," Norris says in response.

"Chuck Norris doesn't endorse, he tells America how it's gonna be," the presidential hopeful concludes.

Apparently, the truth about Chuck Norris is that when it comes to himself, he has a selective sense of humor.[/b]
 
L

Laetca

Guest
As long as no one is making any money with it, he doesn't mind, as soon as it's in a form people have to pay for, he wants in.

Sounds logical to me.
 
S

SaintsFan_Webby

Guest
Chuck Norris doesn't like jokes. He just cries like a little girl and instructs his lawyers to deal with them.

Next.
 
C

C A Iversen

Guest
OMG. You guys are acting like bandwagon jumpers. No-one stopped to think that he doesn't like these guys making MONEY out of this book that they have no right to publish? Why would they publish unless they thought they could make money out of him, eh? Thats right.

If it was you, you'd do the same. No doubt.


He's basically said, "laugh at me online?" - "I'll have a sense of humour".

"Publish a book to make money out of it? Like hell". Fair enough.
 
E

el_tk

Guest
In fairness it's one thing having this stuff on the internet but when this guy has just taken it and added no real creative input and started making money from it it's a different case entirely.
 
S

shtove

Guest
This is where most of the Chabal! thread gags come from - I "adapted" a few myself. And now I'm going to be sued.

And Chuck Norris doesn't just "sue" - he shoves a court summons down your throat until it explodes out your arse and bankrupts your children and your children's children.
 
L

Laetca

Guest
You would if you made people pay for them, not if you spread them for free.

You can hardly expect the man to think 'they're using my name to make mney, that's okay'.

I thik it's slightly lame to say it's because of what is said in the book, I wuld appreciate the honesty of going, "guys, I want in, give me some of the profit here".
 
S

shtove

Guest
It's hilarious that people think the author is guaranteed to make money from the publication - most don't.

Publishing politics and loss leaders etc.
 
L

Laetca

Guest
Why else would anyone 'write' a book that is basically quotess taken off the internet?

The author is either going for money, or eternal fame. Or he's an avid chuck norris fan and would do anything to meet the man in real life. Comes the day of the court session, norris only sends his lawyers, all that trouble for nothing.
 
L

Laetca

Guest
I think we have only that little fight scene on an old videocasette. It probably got taped over though :(
 
B

Brodizzle

Guest
<div class='quotemain'> I once saw Bruce Lee rip hairs from the chest of Chuck Norris... [/b]

Look what happened to Bruce Lee...
[/b][/quote]
He ascended to heaven when he achieved pure enlightenment?
 
L

Laetca

Guest
Bruce Lee didn't die, he's living on some huge island, he's actually sharing it with Elvis Presley and Kurt Cobain.

(the things you hear sometimes :p)
 
R

Ripper

Guest
WRONG.

Bruce Lee faked his death to work undercover with the Hong Kong Police.

Fools.
 
R

redunderthebed

Guest
WRONG.

Bruce Lee faked his death to work undercover with the Hong Kong Police.

Fools. [/b]

only to be killed by chinese secret agents when hong kong became a chinese colony. :D

That will probably turn up in the epoch times now. :p
 

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