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The Clubhouse Bar
Collection of some of the finest double entendres
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<blockquote data-quote="dobrien7" data-source="post: 69740"><p>Possibly confusing Ralf for Michael's long time Ferrari team mate Reubens Barichello? Must admit I missed that one too...</p><p></p><p>And to think all of these were actually said, superb. Must have more!</p><p></p><p>eg.</p><p></p><p>Olympic women's diving, the commentator used a description she no doubt regretted as soon as she uttered it. As the contestant spun through the air, the resident expert noted the good tuck position and added, "You couldn't get anything between those legs."</p><p></p><p><strong>and the famous Murray Walker...</strong></p><p></p><p>"He's obviously gone in for a wheel change. I say obviously because I can't see it" </p><p>"With half the race gone, there is half the race still to go" </p><p></p><p>"Do my eyes deceive me, or is Senna's Lotus sounding rough ?" </p><p></p><p>"Anything happens in Grand Prix racing and it usually does" </p><p></p><p>"Alboreto has dropped back up to fifth place" </p><p></p><p>"As you look at the first four, the significant thing is that Alboreto is 5th" </p><p></p><p>"I can't imagine what kind of problem Senna has. I imagine it must be some sort of grip problem" </p><p></p><p>"He is shedding buckets of adrenalin in that car" </p><p></p><p>"It's raining and the track is wet" </p><p></p><p>"And there's just a few more corners for Nigel Mansell to go to win the Canadian Grand Prix...and...he's going rather slow....HE'S STOPPING HE'S STOPPING!" </p><p></p><p>"and this is the third placed car about to lap the second placed car" </p><p></p><p>"they say clothes maketh the man... the clothes are Niki Lauda's, but the contents are me..." as Murray prepares to take a drive in a F1 car." [He gets a total distance of... oh, 1 foot before he stalls it.] (Apparently, this was the second attempt to film Murray in an F1 McLaren - the first, earlier that day, had gone very well, but for technical reasons couldn't be used!) </p><p></p><p>[During a F1 race, describing how the leader can see the driver following him] "... Mansell can see him in his earphone..." </p><p></p><p>"So Bernie [Ecclestone], in the seventeen years since you bought McLaren, which of your many achievements do you think was the most memorable ?" Bernie Answers, "Well I don't remember buying McLaren." [Bernie Ecclestone used to own the Brabham team]. </p><p></p><p>Murrary: "What's that? There's a BODY on the track!!!" James: "Um, I think that that is a piece of BODY-WORK, from someone's car." </p><p></p><p>Murray: There's a fiery glow coming from the back of the Ferrari James: No Murray, that's his rear safety light </p><p></p><p>As an introductory piece for a rallysprint race, Murray was put in the Navigator's seat alongside Tony Pond in a Chevette HSR (270 BHP, rwd, and TWITCHY), added an in-car camera, and wired Murray for sound. The result can be deduced by extrapolating his usual excitement and enthusiasm, and adding a large pinch of raw terror! "And there's a 600 foot drop on my left..AND we're doing 120 mph... AND we're approaching a hairpin...OH MY GOD we're going to die..." </p><p></p><p>[after a post race interview with Mansell after the Austrian GP 1987] Murray : "How did you get that nasty bumb on your head Nigel?" [Nigel leans forward to show the camera as Murray pokes it with his finger !] Nigel: "OUCH!!" </p><p></p><p>Murray: And look at the flames coming from the back of Berger's McLaren </p><p>James: Actually, Murray, they're not flames, it's the safety light. </p><p>Murray, commentating on rallycross from Lydden, describes how a BMW driver has cut holes in his windscreen so that his visibility is improved in all the muck... as he is doing so, the car crashes heavily into an earth bank... </p><p></p><p>From the Spanish GP 1995: "and Eddie Jordan is in fifth place"... (actually Eddie Irvine in one of his compatriot Eddie Jordan's cars). </p><p></p><p>"...and he's lost both right front tyres" (which may have been accurate back in the days of the Tyrrell P34, but it was from 1995!)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dobrien7, post: 69740"] Possibly confusing Ralf for Michael's long time Ferrari team mate Reubens Barichello? Must admit I missed that one too... And to think all of these were actually said, superb. Must have more! eg. Olympic women's diving, the commentator used a description she no doubt regretted as soon as she uttered it. As the contestant spun through the air, the resident expert noted the good tuck position and added, "You couldn't get anything between those legs." [b]and the famous Murray Walker...[/b] "He's obviously gone in for a wheel change. I say obviously because I can't see it" "With half the race gone, there is half the race still to go" "Do my eyes deceive me, or is Senna's Lotus sounding rough ?" "Anything happens in Grand Prix racing and it usually does" "Alboreto has dropped back up to fifth place" "As you look at the first four, the significant thing is that Alboreto is 5th" "I can't imagine what kind of problem Senna has. I imagine it must be some sort of grip problem" "He is shedding buckets of adrenalin in that car" "It's raining and the track is wet" "And there's just a few more corners for Nigel Mansell to go to win the Canadian Grand Prix...and...he's going rather slow....HE'S STOPPING HE'S STOPPING!" "and this is the third placed car about to lap the second placed car" "they say clothes maketh the man... the clothes are Niki Lauda's, but the contents are me..." as Murray prepares to take a drive in a F1 car." [He gets a total distance of... oh, 1 foot before he stalls it.] (Apparently, this was the second attempt to film Murray in an F1 McLaren - the first, earlier that day, had gone very well, but for technical reasons couldn't be used!) [During a F1 race, describing how the leader can see the driver following him] "... Mansell can see him in his earphone..." "So Bernie [Ecclestone], in the seventeen years since you bought McLaren, which of your many achievements do you think was the most memorable ?" Bernie Answers, "Well I don't remember buying McLaren." [Bernie Ecclestone used to own the Brabham team]. Murrary: "What's that? There's a BODY on the track!!!" James: "Um, I think that that is a piece of BODY-WORK, from someone's car." Murray: There's a fiery glow coming from the back of the Ferrari James: No Murray, that's his rear safety light As an introductory piece for a rallysprint race, Murray was put in the Navigator's seat alongside Tony Pond in a Chevette HSR (270 BHP, rwd, and TWITCHY), added an in-car camera, and wired Murray for sound. The result can be deduced by extrapolating his usual excitement and enthusiasm, and adding a large pinch of raw terror! "And there's a 600 foot drop on my left..AND we're doing 120 mph... AND we're approaching a hairpin...OH MY GOD we're going to die..." [after a post race interview with Mansell after the Austrian GP 1987] Murray : "How did you get that nasty bumb on your head Nigel?" [Nigel leans forward to show the camera as Murray pokes it with his finger !] Nigel: "OUCH!!" Murray: And look at the flames coming from the back of Berger's McLaren James: Actually, Murray, they're not flames, it's the safety light. Murray, commentating on rallycross from Lydden, describes how a BMW driver has cut holes in his windscreen so that his visibility is improved in all the muck... as he is doing so, the car crashes heavily into an earth bank... From the Spanish GP 1995: "and Eddie Jordan is in fifth place"... (actually Eddie Irvine in one of his compatriot Eddie Jordan's cars). "...and he's lost both right front tyres" (which may have been accurate back in the days of the Tyrrell P34, but it was from 1995!) [/QUOTE]
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The Clubhouse Bar
Collection of some of the finest double entendres
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