Depression And Friends

[munstermuffin]

Just writing a new thread as a mixture of interest, research and any other factors.
Does anyone have any experiences or methods of cures for a problem that I've seen happen alot recently and well have experienced it slightly myself.

A lot of young people here are being hit by depression and loosing friends through various factors including the recession sending people seperate ways so basically my story is 1 of such that basically met a girl and well drifted away from friends (not too many to start with) and well in a rut, got a dream job with Munster rugby however outside of work find it hard to make new friends as old mates are gone seperate ways. Also play junior rugby and well outside training find it hard to make a friend and well do get bit depressed at times but have seen it in others around that it is something that happens widespread and well wonder has anyone had or having a similar experience.

It's good to chat I suppose so anyone can use this as an outlet too,

 

[snoopy snoopy dog dog]

Everybody's different so it's hard to say what will work. Saying that you've a problem is a massive first step and must be a weight off your shoulders. It's something I suffered from at one point a few years ago and it's a horrible, horrible feeling. For me it wasn't one of sadness, it's more a feeling of nothingness; having nothing to look forward to etc. I found CBT a really good help.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapy

I was refered to a clinic by my GP. Good luck with whatever you do.

 

[munstermuffin]

Cheers Snoop and it is said it vital to talk but just when you research it that it crazy how common it is but also glad to hear an improvement is possible

 

[Seaton]

I'm an introvert, don't get a lot of fun out of social interaction and thus don't do it much.

It was always my intention to move back to the UK from SA, so as a result I really didn't bother with getting to know anyone well at school, and kinda treat anyone whom I will interact with for a significant amount of time with a professional attitude.

This [with the helping hand of the English teacher who always gave me crap-low marks] lead my dad to think I was depressed (divorced parents, my mom didn't agree) so he took me to a doctor who of course diagnosed me as depressed (as I was also in denial or something over the state of my depression.) and given a prescription of Prozac.

I've never taken the stuff after two years of recurring subscriptions, and the week after first 'given it' my dad and step-mom would tell everyone how well it worked. You know some people laughed at the notion of me being diagnosed as depressed at that stage, not because they find the state funny but because how utterly wrong the decision was.

Is that the kind of society we livein today? Where anyone who doesn't go out and get themselves wasted every weekend is clinically depressed? We've all seen the effects real depression can have on people, it's just frustrating that one be so easily misread yet others who suffer deeply are not helped.

 

[snoopy snoopy dog dog]

@munstermuffin
If you haven't spoken to anyone be it a family member of a friend, I suggest that you do. Just saying to somebody you trust that you may have a problem feels like a massive weight has been lifted. CBT, which I found helpful, is about becoming more conscious of what you're thinking and trying to find another perspective on things. I looked at everything in a negative light (worst case scenario stuff) and becoming more aware that I ws doing it and when I was doing it helped me a lot. I still have hairy moments from time to time but feel a lot better equipped to deal with them now than I did three years ago.

A couple of simple things you can do yourself are to exercise and eat healthily.

 

[munstermuffin]

Well lord hope while I like the odd drink I agree just because you don't go out and get wasted some areas of society do look on this as odd. But alcohol is a proven substance of depression. And also I think as you pointed out some who do suffer deeply are miss but simply because they are afraid society will judge them.
Like in Ireland if your known to be depressed or any mental illness alot of people label you practically as mad from the off.

 

[William18]

Depression is terrible. My sister is currently going through something like this. She has no friends and spends most of her time by herself. She never opens up to anyone, even her family. We are getting her help but it's a hard situation to deal with for all of us. So I definitely feel for you.

 

[TRF_heineken]

My entire family has had or currently has depression, as it's Genetic...

I had it after I had a horrible experience in USA where I was held at gunpoint, assaulted and stripped of all my clothes and dignity for some $20 a drug addict needed... it took 3 Months to get me back in SA after that ordeal and because I was there on a working visa for a company that hired me in SA. I had to get clearance from them to come back...

Needless to say, the Depression hit me hard. luckily when I came back to SA, I was just in time to go on christmas holiday with my family, which helped a lot. I was put on anti-depressants for 6 months, and during that 6 months I never went out of the house, I became a recluse.

then one saturday morning, my brother came home from university, and literally dragged me out of the house, put me in his car and drove off... we went to one of his friend's house to watch the Super 14. i just sat in the corner, didn't speak to anyone, didn't want to... and then, this girl came and talked to me, she got me so far, that the next thing I knew, I told her everything that happened to me and why I am like I am at that moment... It felt great to speak to someone other that a doctor, psychiatrist, parents... just a stranger. she took my hand and sat me down on the couch where we watched the rugby, I even started cheering at one point... Even though it was the Stupid Stormers playing...

the next couple of weeks, i went out more with my brother, went to the pub, gym, movies, anything to get me to socialize with people, even if it's the same people over and over... Depression is an Illness just like any other illness and has to be treated as such. the main thing to help with getting it done is to decide for yourself that you don't want to be this way anymore... you want to be happy, you want a fulfilling life, and then grab the bull by the horns and just do it! whatever you want any way you can!!

I'm now 5 years without anti-depressants or medical assistance... and never had a relapse. I'm very happy with my life and have great support from family and friends.

The main problem is not to suffer in silence, talk about it, even if it hurts like hell!

 

[Seaton]

I think the 'Give yourself a shake' mentality is prevelant in a lot of societies across the (english speaking, can't comment on others) world with regards to depression and mental ailments.

I can't understand why some people can't accept that most people (albeit some more... can't think of the right word... more often than others?) go through stages where their brains/ whatever produce less dopamine and those wonderful things than at normal times.

It's a physical problem at times, and at times one would need something like Prozac to help produce the stuff you need.

 

[lucky number 7]

Went through a very rough patch at around 13 ..for months and months I stewed in like Snoop said a feeling of nothing...I had horrific self esteem issues too which made making friends hard...I got through it by talking to my family , it's actually unbelievable the difference getting things like this off your chest. Now I am your normal bloke really.

However I will say the amount of people with depression is astounding... of the 3 people in my life I would consider as close friends (people I would trust beyond any doubt ,best mates) they all suffer from it in one way or another.

Snoop do you think CBT could help someone with an eating disorder that stems from poor self esteem and depression?

 

[Saintjay]

Went through a very rough patch at around 13 ..for months and months I stewed in like Snoop said a feeling of nothing...I had horrific self esteem issues too which made making friends hard...I got through it by talking to my family , it's actually unbelievable the difference getting things like this off your chest. Now I am your normal bloke really.

However I will say the amount of people with depression is astounding... of the 3 people in my life I would consider as close friends (people I would trust beyond any doubt ,best mates) they all suffer from it in one way or another.

Snoop do you think CBT could help someone with an eating disorder that stems from poor self esteem and depression?

I did it via work and occupational health. After dealing with too many incidents of seeing not very nice things and the worst of humainty without going into detail. On top of that a divorce involving my daughter and a death of a close family member. I can safely say 2005 was a bloody shocking year for me.

I found CBT really good I never liked being on tablets as I found that despite putting me on an even keel. The tablets made me numb I felt neither happy, sad, I was like an emotionless robot. So I knocked them on the head and did the CBT and it was great. As snoop said it helps shift your views and out look on things and gave me an understanding of why I act the way I do in certain circumstances.

I would urge anyone to speak to there doctor if things get to on top and if they have poor self esteem and depression CBT might be able to help. Freinds, family and sport were all a great help to me when I was in a bad place. I just got in trouble when I did the whole bloke thing of trying to deal with stuff on my own and doing the whole man up thing. Loving life now and pretty glad I got help even if I felt like a wuss the first time I went. It was worth it

 

[lucky number 7]

I did it via work and occupational health. After dealing with too many incidents of seeing not very nice things and the worst of humainty without going into detail. On top of that a divorce involving my daughter and a death of a close family member. I can safely say 2005 was a bloody shocking year for me.

I found CBT really good I never liked being on tablets as I found that despite putting me on an even keel. The tablets made me numb I felt neither happy, sad, I was like an emotionless robot. So I knocked them on the head and did the CBT and it was great. As snoop said it helps shift your views and out look on things and gave me an understanding of why I act the way I do in certain circumstances.

I would urge anyone to speak to there doctor if things get to on top and if they have poor self esteem and depression CBT might be able to help. Freinds, family and sport were all a great help to me when I was in a bad place. I just got in trouble when I did the whole bloke thing of trying to deal with stuff on my own and doing the whole man up thing. Loving life now and pretty glad I got help even if I felt like a wuss the first time I went. It was worth it

This is the issue that one has.. .spent years bottling it all up telling nobody and doing a dammned good job of covering up serious orthorexia nervosa , opened up to me about it after a row and a few drinks but is worried about going in and feeling weak.

 

[snoopy snoopy dog dog]

This is the issue that one has.. .spent years bottling it all up telling nobody and doing a dammned good job of covering up serious orthorexia nervosa , opened up to me about it after a row and a few drinks but is worried about going in and feeling weak.

Perhaps this is easier said than done but there's no need to worry about it. It's only natural to feel anxious about going for the first time; I certainly was. The therapist is there to help you so the more open you can be, the better. Nobody is there to judge, just to help you overcome your problems whatever they may be. I found the first session a pretty instant relief and every further session delved a little further into my mindset and what had me feeling that way. It can be unnerving learning about what triggers the negative thoughts but it's definitely worthwhile.

 

[Peat]

This is the issue that one has.. .spent years bottling it all up telling nobody and doing a dammned good job of covering up serious orthorexia nervosa , opened up to me about it after a row and a few drinks but is worried about going in and feeling weak.

Tell him that if John Kirwan can admit to it, anyone can...

Admittedly this example would work better with a forward, but hey, gotta work with what you're given.

 

[SelimNiai]

Im going through this right now, have had depression, anxiety and paranoia since October. Its kept me away from work because I can't cope with my job due to the issues and thoughts rolling round my head. Currently on antidepressants and Im on a waiting list for therapy. At the moment Rugby is all I have keeping me going.

 

[dullonien]

Sad to hear so many here suffering with depression etc. I myself went through a tough time back in 04/05, where I had gotten myself into a bit of a mess at uni. I was failing my course badly, addicted to weed, depressed after being mugged (which hit my confidence hard), and in a terrible sleeping and eating pattern. I eventually broke down in front of my sister over christmas, bursting into tears (really not me, don't think I've cried sinse, even at my grandad's funeral) and telling her everything, and she pursuaded me to tell my parents. They advised me to quit uni and move back home, returning to a familiar place where I felt safe (Aberystwyth is a hugely safe place to live), and surrounded by my best firnds helped massively. I had good friends at university, but we were all in a similar place and pulling each other down together. I was lucky enough to be offered a job at a local architecture firm, and I quickly returned to my old self. For me, it was the situation I found myself in that resulted in my depression, not a mental thing, so it was much easier for me to pull myself out of it once I'd changed the things pulling me down.

My gf has had a history of depression, so I also understand the mental sides of things, where the depression has no real trigger. She's also suffered from anxiety, where she is constantly worrying about certain things. She can't lock a door on her own, for a long time couldn't use cash machines, struggled massively with sending e-mails and text messages, especially non social ones. Facebook is a massive no-no. She still can't bring herself to use public computers, at the university for example. She's just finished a course of CBT, and it has helped, but there's a long way to go, and unfortunately the mental health care in the UK is severely lacking, so there's no more help available, as she's had the maximum number of appointments, and isn't allowed any more. She'll be finishing university this year, but is worried about what kind of job she'll be capable of doing. She's not sure whether she'll be able to use a till if she get's a job in a shop, without worrying if she's given the correct change or not, and she doesn't think she'll cope with any real responsibilities at the start. She despirately wants to work though, suppose time will tell, hopefully the job centre can find something suitable to start.

 

[Jockstap]

Everybody goes through some form of depression at some stage in their lives. The only people who don't are the chaps who are lets say, intellectually challenged, incidentally did you hear Irish people were polled to be the happiest people in the world.

 

[profitius]

Think positive, think positive. Thoughts are energy.

I was just thinking the other day of how some people see things differently. Some people see the glass half full and some the glass half empty. Its just a habit of way of thinking people get into and cannot get out of. Some people will look at themselves and think how lucky they are to have food and a roof over their head etc compared to most of the people in the world. Others in a similar situation will look at how poor they are compared to millionaires for example.

 

[Jockstap]

Indeed, I always have to be mindful of my thoughts, less they betray me, negativity leads to fear, fear leads to anger, anger leads to.......oh wait a minute.

 

[lucky number 7]

I'm also pretty sorry to hear there are so many here struggling...it's a **** place to be However as the lads have been saying talking is the best thing for it.

If you share your feelings with someone the load is lightened. They can help.

And as Profitius said there , outlook is very important to how you feel..although from experience rationality does not come easy when suffering with depression , especially in the form of an ED.