Hey everyone just need some advice. I have been going out with my girlfriend for almost 3 years now. We are quite good together. There is however one problem. She is into dope....I am dead against it. This topic has always been a huge issue in our relationship. I took marijuana in my teens but gave it up as it made me paranoid. I refuse to engage in it again for this reason. My GF loves it as much as I hate it. We do not live together....her kids who are teenagers get into it....they often politely smoke in their room when I turn up. She also will not touch it when I am around and will wait till I go. However very slowly the line is moving....I have turned up a few times and she is stoned...amd more recently they are leaving their dope and bukkies lying around in fulll view. Now they don't move anything when I turn up. I suspect in time they will light up when I am in the lounge. I come from and still live in a poor area where alcohol and drugs is quite common. I don't drink anymore and have pretty much turned into a goody goody. My problem here is this. I will be 40 this year and am at this point in my life wanting to go down the road of being a community leader. I live in NZ and in South Auckland which is full of brownies (Islanders/Maoris). Most of my people have lost a lot of their pride and live week to week in addictive behaviour. They have little ambition when it comes to furthering themselves and have little belief in themselves. A lot of them can't make the break out of this mentality because they drink too much or get stoned a lot. I want to help people in my area get out of the poverty trap that leads to a drunk and drugged out existence. Basically I want to help Maori and Pasifika people in NZ recapture their pride before they discovered alcohol and drugs. I seem to therefore feel agrieved going out with someone who has been pro marijuana all her life. She will not give it up for me...she has tried but she felt unhappy. She feels I am controlling her by giving her guilt trips about smoking dope. I feel I am trying to help her as I believe she has never risen to her potential as a result of being a long term dope smoker. This is where we are at loggerheads. I feel I am being held back in my resolve to move towards eldership in the community as the things I am passionately against are the things she is passionately for. She says it is good to be in a relationship where beliefs are different because it challenges you to think.....however I see it as a hindrance. Anyway....I feel I am not growing at all to be the person I would like to be...believe I should be. As you can imagine when you are not doing something you want to do....I am not happy about life. She is a lovely lady, very accomodating.....and the sex is great...but I have a passion in where I want to go in life...and she has no passion for it at all....in fact...she sees all leaders as controlling people. Anyway.....I am still with her because it is comfortable....but it is slowly killing me inside. I would suffer quite a bit if I dropped her....sex would be the first thing I would miss....then companionship....etc....but it seems that I would not reach my goals in life if I stayed with her. Anyway...your thoughts?