Economic Models explained with cows

Discussion in 'The Clubhouse Bar' started by stevemagoo, Nov 6, 2008.

  1. stevemagoo

    stevemagoo Guest

    SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour

    COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some
    milk.

    FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.

    NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.

    BUREAUCRATISE: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks
    the other, then throws the milk away...

    TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
    Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on
    the income.

    SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take
    harmonica lessons.

    AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the
    other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to
    analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

    ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to
    your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your
    brother-in-law at the bank,
    then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that
    you get all four cows back, with a
    tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are
    transferred
    via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the
    majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to
    your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows,
    with
    an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new President of the United
    States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the
    release. The public buys your bull.

    THE ANDERSEN MODEL: You have two cows. You shred them.

    A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a
    riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

    A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are
    one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
    You then create a clever
    cow cartoon image called 'cowkimon' and market it worldwide.

    A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they
    live
    for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

    AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they
    are. You decide to have lunch.

    A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you
    have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You
    count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and
    open
    another bottle of vodka.

    A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You
    charge the owners for storing them.

    A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking
    them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine
    productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

    AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.

    A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad.

    IRAQI CORPORATION: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them
    that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of
    you
    and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you
    are
    part of a Democracy....

    AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. Business seems pretty good.
    You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate

    WELSH CORPORATION: You have two cows. The one on the left looks very
    attractive
     
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  3. Bullitt

    Bullitt Guest

    :lol:
     
  4. age_master

    age_master Guest

    Brilliant :roflrol:
     
  5. Hall

    Hall Guest

    I've seen this somewhere before. It never gets old :bravo:
     
  6. monkeypigeon

    monkeypigeon Guest

    Used have this as my desktop for ages. Just changed it last week actually.
     
  7. gingergenius

    gingergenius Guest

    <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (stevemagoo @ Nov 6 2008, 03:27 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div>
     
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