Gay-Guy the Under 13 Coach and his Team 2008

[Gay-Guy]

Well today is the day we begin our season with our first game at 1pm this afternoon. It is gonna be great fun and I can't wait to see the boys run onto the field!

We had our first get together 3 days ago and had another practice last night. We only had 11 players arrive last night but I am sure that a lot more will come today....ok so I am not too sure but hopefully they will come.

I think I have found the balance as a coach at this level when it comes to be harsh and being encouraging. Bascially it boils down to this:

• Comfortable Environment (Practice at the Clubrooms) - Kick their asses if they don't comply
• Uncomfortable Environment (Game Day) - Encourage them if they don't comply.

With boys at this age group they have a tendency to not comply with a coach's wishes. i have identified that the reasons for non compliance can be quite varied. Therefore the key is to tap into where they are at each time and to apply stern words or encouraging words accordingly. A lot of coaches at the junior level at games often make the mistake of thinking that boys are not doing the game plan becuse they can't be bothered, or too thick in the head, etc....when in actual fact the main issue boys have on game day is WORRY! Unlike practice where they are carefree and like to yahoo with other team mates the game day situation has a boy arriving worried due to EXPECTATIONS from himself, siblings, parents, relatives, tradition, peers, opposition, spectators, girls, and the coach. Therefore when the boy gets on the field they are already full of dread and not really playing to their potential. A lot of boys will only enjoy the game if they are thrashing the opposition. However what happens in a tight game or a game where they are losing? It is this fear of what others and themselves are thinking and the expectations they have that makes boys so nervous on gameday that they forget the real reason why they are on the field in the first place! They forget that they want to play rugby, that they love rugby, that they dream rugby....by the time they get on the field they can't see rugby...all they can see is dread and worry and expectations.

As a result it is the coaches job at junior level on game day to be as encouraging as possible...to let the players know that HE first only has one expectation...that is the expectation for the boys to enjoy themselves, to enjoy each other, to enjoy the game of rugby. To be good to the opposition, to treat them with respect because everyone is on the same boat and needs reassurance. When boys realise that all the coach wants them to do is to enjoy the game they will play beyond themselves and explore, give things a go. Sure they will make mistakes that will cost them but as long as they learn and try and change things for the sake of the team then it is ok...because at this level it is all about enjoyment...the world will not care who wins at under13 level...it is not the end of the world if they lose.

So even though I was a real dictator ******* hard man at trainings this week and kicked their wrong attitudes to kingdom come, the boys will find out today that I am all into loving them as players and people on game day and I will be building them up during this time when they are vulnerable.

 

[danny]

Well today is the day we begin our season with our first game at 1pm this afternoon. It is gonna be great fun and I can't wait to see the boys run onto the field!

We had our first get together 3 days ago and had another practice last night. We only had 11 players arrive last night but I am sure that a lot more will come today....ok so I am not too sure but hopefully they will come.

I think I have found the balance as a coach at this level when it comes to be harsh and being encouraging. Bascially it boils down to this:

• Comfortable Environment (Practice at the Clubrooms) - Kick their asses if they don't comply
• Uncomfortable Environment (Game Day) - Encourage them if they don't comply.

With boys at this age group they have a tendency to not comply with a coach's wishes. i have identified that the reasons for non compliance can be quite varied. Therefore the key is to tap into where they are at each time and to apply stern words or encouraging words accordingly. A lot of coaches at the junior level at games often make the mistake of thinking that boys are not doing the game plan becuse they can't be bothered, or too thick in the head, etc....when in actual fact the main issue boys have on game day is WORRY! Unlike practice where they are carefree and like to yahoo with other team mates the game day situation has a boy arriving worried due to EXPECTATIONS from himself, siblings, parents, relatives, tradition, peers, opposition, spectators, girls, and the coach. Therefore when the boy gets on the field they are already full of dread and not really playing to their potential. A lot of boys will only enjoy the game if they are thrashing the opposition. However what happens in a tight game or a game where they are losing? It is this fear of what others and themselves are thinking and the expectations they have that makes boys so nervous on gameday that they forget the real reason why they are on the field in the first place! They forget that they want to play rugby, that they love rugby, that they dream rugby....by the time they get on the field they can't see rugby...all they can see is dread and worry and expectations.

As a result it is the coaches job at junior level on game day to be as encouraging as possible...to let the players know that HE first only has one expectation...that is the expectation for the boys to enjoy themselves, to enjoy each other, to enjoy the game of rugby. To be good to the opposition, to treat them with respect because everyone is on the same boat and needs reassurance. When boys realise that all the coach wants them to do is to enjoy the game they will play beyond themselves and explore, give things a go. Sure they will make mistakes that will cost them but as long as they learn and try and change things for the sake of the team then it is ok...because at this level it is all about enjoyment...the world will not care who wins at under13 level...it is not the end of the world if they lose.

So even though I was a real dictator ******* hard man at trainings this week and kicked their wrong attitudes to kingdom come, the boys will find out today that I am all into loving them as players and people on game day and I will be building them up during this time when they are vulnerable.
[/b]

Sounds good to me. Match day needs to be a time whwere they really feel your support and almost feel that you are out there with them. That IMO is the mark of a good coach.Well done , we need more like you! :cheers:

 

[Caledfwlch]

Keep us updated!

 

[InsaneAsylum]

good luck for the season!

 

[Haysie]

Congrats mate, how did you go? Did they get stuck into the rucks like you were trying to teach them?

 

[Gay-Guy]

Well what a first game. We got pummeled 60 nil!

I know you are thinking that me and the team are down in the doledrums...but in actual fact the players are really looking forward to practice on Wednesday!

So how can a team be looking forward to practice on Wednesday after getting a beating?

Well there is more than meets the eye behind this team. In the Papatoetoe Rugby club the junior age groups often have two teams...a red and a white. Before this team became Under13 Red they were Under12 Red, Under 11 Red, Under 10 Red, etc etc. The team actually grew together through the age groups...that was until this year when the Under 13 players only had one coach for the two teams instead of two. So what happened was that both Red and White team trained and played together as a massive squad for 5 weeks. This week they found a coach from the local school (me) and the two teams were split. The players who were good all went to the White team..and you guessed it...i got the left overs...but I didn't mind because I was just starting and I said I would take anyone.

Well you can guess what the boys were like on Wednesday when they were told at practice to leave the big squad and to go over to me...they felt like they had been ripped off as well as feeling like they were the offcasts...the loser players.

However from that practice on Wednesday I told them the ethics of rugby...the purest higer values.

• We are a team
• We win together as a team. We lose together as a team. There are no individuals, no heroes.
• We only encourage each other. No put downs. No one is better than everyone else. We are all on the same level and that level is the level of the team.
• We support each other at every opportunity.
• Rugby is to be played with respect.
• All players are to be treated with respect. This includes the opposition.
• Rugby is to be enjoyed first and foremost before anything else.

When Friday came around and we had another practice the boys already seemed to look at each other differently and not so much as "we are the leftovers". The practice was a bit difficult as no one really knew each others names and we were having to get fill ins from the younger Under12 team but by the end of the practice the boys were beginning to like each other more.

Me and the manager (her first time doing that job too at the last second) told the club that we would play straight away this Saturday (today) even though we were far from ready and did not even know what positions any of the boys played in. We felt it was all about the boys just getting out there and having a run and to default games until we were ready would be missing out on what the boys really want...to [lay and have fun. So the club agreed and a game was set for today.

The team we would play was last years champions...the toughest team on our side of the draw!

Well we got to the venue and it was hectic just putting boys into any position 5 mins before the game. I only had time for one team talk before kick off. It is here that I told them that I had no expectations for them excpt for them to enjoy themselves, to play rugby and have fun, to think about why they are there instead of lying on the couch at home. I smiled at them and said that they should just give it a go and really enjoy running around.

Kick off

When the two teams came together it became quite apparent that my team looked like midgets compared to the opposition. The other team had monsters in the forwards and backs and these boys were like young Jonah Lomus.

The first try came...and then another...and then another....but I realised that I had to step out of myself and not start getting angus or upset but to just stay focussed on encouraging the biys whenever they did something good...a tackle...a fend...a ruck...a pass....anything they did good I applauded them with gusto. This was a bit difficult for me for I normally only recognise something brilliant but because I was determined to encourage the boys no matter what I searched for anything they did that was great..and rightly told them so.

As a result...the boys kept trying as the game went on...even after conceding try after try they still kept going.

When it was halftime the boys looked buggered. The ref asked me if i wanted to shorten the second half by 5 minutes...I asked the boys and they emphatically said NO. They were keen to play as long as possible despite the beating they were getting!

The boys continued to play hard and as they game went on they actually started to grow stronger! My concern about them not contesting in the rucks was put aside as they kept giving their all against these guys who were bigger.

Under the posts after each try I kept applauding them and telling them that everytime they tackle one of those big guys they are surprising the heck out of that team. I kept telling them that this team steamrolls everyone and are waiting for them to lie down but that the boys had a bigger heart inside them even if their bodies were small. I told them they were doing a great job and to keep it up.

Fulltime.

The whistle blew and I was about to run on the field and to congratulate them and remind them to huddle and clap for the opposition...but then I thought...no. I stood back and waited to see what they would do. They looked really smashed but instead of hanging their heads down and looking depresessed they got together by themselves...made a huddle.....put their hands together and gave cheers for the opposition. This really made me feel proud of them as I could actually see that they were gonna build each other as a team without me telling them to do it.

On the sideline the boys were actually talking about training and going hard at training and were talking about how they couldn't wait for Wednesday. One parent said to me that her son who had been put up to our team from the Under12 team was really happy with me as a coach because he is learning stuff.



I realised today that I had won the most crucial battle of the season for me. In four days I had won the respect of the boys and given them hope. I had esteemed them as players and as people....they now knew I would be there for them even in the worse scenario like a 60 point thrashing....that I was someone who was there for them and accepted them regardless of the score.



Anyway that is the reason why I and the team are not down after that beating. You are only down if you accept it and choose to be.

 

[Steve-o]

Sounds like you got a group of future chokers there!
Nah I'm just kidding lol, I hope all goes well. Some of my fondest memories were when I played u/13 rugby. It sounds like you've trained them hard enough, I hope all your effort and attention on rucks pays off. But only 11 pitching is a bit disappointing. May I ask what team you coach? Primary School 1st team or club? Is there a sense of pride playing for this team?

 

[Caledfwlch]

Excellent! You got a team that'll really gel together.

 

[Haysie]

Mate, you are a dead set supercoach! You've hit the nail on the head straight away with what it takes to connect with the boys at that level, and for them all to learn why they're doing drills and developing as players, not just doing it.

Congratulations mate, I look forward to more fantastic results!

 

[Gay-Guy]

Week Two:

Training Session 3: Wednesday 14th May 2008



Well we got to training today after out big defeat on Saturday and there were quite a few MORE boys joining the team! We now have a squad of over 20 players as opposed to 13 last week. The boys looked quite keen to get into it as opposed to the first training session last week and even the parents started to help out with the pads.

We focussed on the basics again...fitness...small passes...rucks rucks rucks...before moving into our attacking game plan. when we started to work the game plan the boys really started to get that sense that they were working together as a team...even i stated to sense that strongly and get excited....the parents were getting excited lol!

I think what happened in that last part of the training session was really encouraging as I could see the boys begin to realise that they will and are gonna get better this year as a team. The boys kept wanting to do the drill over and over again!

There are a few problems happening regarding the politics of our team and the club but I don't let them affect me as I believe I am a very good coach and that in the end that will speak for itself. The team and parents are also beginning to bond more tightly in the light of these outside complications.

At the end of each traininig session I get the boys to make sure they say goodbye to as many of their team mates as they can and to introduce themselves a bit more since they are still learning names. Watching the boys genuinely warm to each after practice was very heartening.

Anyway...Friday we have another practice.

 

[woosaah]

good stuff man, looks as though you are gaining some respect from the players and parents. hopefully the other politics dont come into it and they just let you coach your team and let the team play.

good luck for the season dude

 

[Caledfwlch]

Hey GG, just thought I'd put in my two cents worth bout team bonding. Although it might already have been covered a gazillion times.

You might want to take some time out from their traning and use some non-rugby related things or events to help them bond. I remember when I went for OBS, we were really a mixed bag of people from different schools.

And because we had to rely on each other so much for the entire duration of the camp, when the 5th and last day game, we actually felt like staying a few more days.

Maybe taking them camping in the woods could be a bit too extreme. Maybe something simple like a day out rock climbing or maybe bringing them to shake hands and run around abit with the local club side, if you have the contacts.

And although its not nice to lose, it can really build character. Like how Calvin's (Calvin & Hobbes) dad always says tough things builds character.

Generally speakin, I think pranks on each other help alot. But could get out of hand

Tell your team that its better to suffer now, than enjoy now and suffer later.

Better yet, try to get the parents involved. I'm sure that as a teacher, you'd already have experience speaking to them and sometimes speaking to them. Tell the folks that they're kids are not going to get injured, shower the kids with support "Go **** up the other team!". I dunno bout you, but my dad always uses that. And get the parents to tell the kids that there is absolutely zero pressure on them. They just have to go out and have fun. Which is really the most important thing.

Individual skills produce moments of magic. But its a team effort and a combined set of skills that produces a winning effort. Cheers!

 

[gerrietruter2]

I agree with Caledfwlch, nothing brings a team together more doing stuff together! If they do stuff and has to work as a team to reach a goal, it makes the team stronger!

 

[Gay-Guy]

Thanks guys really appreciate your support!



Week two Practice Session 4: Friday 16th May 2008



Well the boys were there and raring to go a bit earlier than I expected which is really pleasing to see. They got into the drills we do each session much more quicker than I thought they would and put more effort into it than I expected. They are starting to look like they have pride and purpose when they do their drills and there is this urgency to train hard tonight that seems to be increasing with every session. I am really happy with the way things are going :cheers:

We worked on our attacking gameplan and I introduced our defensive gameplan...actually we covered quite a lot in training today to my surprise.

Well tomorrow I will give them advice on how they should play the game....however I will also be encouraging everything they do regardless...no expectations no pressure....just for the boys to enjoy themselves and to enjoy being a team.

 

[Thingimubob]

you're good job! you're keeping them focused on the fact that they're playing more for fun than anything else, and the more they enjoy it, the more successful they'll become. I mean, I've played in a few hammering's, and always on the wrong side, so I know how dejecting it can be. I mean, the mentality that you're teaching helped my club go from around 42 - 11 down at the start of the second half to a slightly more respectable 47 - 29 after our pack dominated them for the last 20 minutes. We'd have scored a few more as well if we had another 10 minutes. Keep going man! Keep updating us too!

 

[Gay-Guy]

Week two Game two Saturday 17th May 2008: Papatoetoe vs Suburbs



Final Score - Suburbs 67, Papatoetoe 0



Well today was a very low day for me. I have to admit that I have some pride and don't like going down in a bad way...but today...well it was very disappointing for me as a coach and also for the team. We didn't do anything that we had practiced during the week and it was hard at times to stay positive. Ok so actually it was like almost impossible to stay positive at all about anything throughout the game. I managed to keep cheering the boys on and saying they were doing good but it was wearing thin after a while. I felt so down after the game though I did my best to hide it....at the gas station on the way home I got annoyed at the prepay pumps even though it didn't say prepay that I threw the pump on the ground and cursed the attendant. I got home and felt like a loser about everything.

The boys did try their best...but it wasn't enough....they also reverted back to trying to do things they way they had always done things which didn't work out as well. Most of the players are new to the game and as you can imagine it was chaos at the ruck....as in we looked gun shy.

If there were positives from the game it was the fact that the bys started talking to each other more....they are beginning to form who are the leaders in the team and are starting to push each other a bit. That is good because it means that they are going to develop leaders on the field. Another good sign is that two of my parents are stepping up more and more into coaching roles which helps me a whole lot.

On Wednesday we are gonna play a game of rugby maybe small like 8 vs 8 and the boys are just gonna ruck it out hardcore...no kicking....until they get over their fear of scrapping for the ball. Our rucks were the most disappointing part of our whole game today.

I suppose for me in order to get the boys up again and motivated then I have to overcome it myself. I have to get off the canvas and fight again...pretty much i have to show them the way to get off the canvas as well.

 

[Gay-Guy]

Week Three:

Training Session 5. Wednesday 21st May





Wow what a training session we had today. Despite our 2 heavy losses I can see the boys are starting to get somewhere. We split the team into forwards and backs and the two men who are helping me took the runs....they were really effective and really know their stuff...so really excellent. We must have the best gear, the best coaching staff....all we need is the kids now to take it on board and go forward with what they are learning.


The boys did 8 metres wide rugby today at the end of training where we are trying to toughen them up in the rucks. They are a bit ruck shy but with another session on Friday they should be starting to get the hang of it more....this is a big weakness for us as we need to get better in those rucks if we are gonna have a chance to win a game.



I am really happy that I have the two guys assisting me with the boys....It was good to have them working with me for support especially after last weeks second beating. The funny thing is that there is a buzz of expectancy with the boys with what lies ahead....it is almost as if the boys are grateful they are given a chance to play rugby. So even though our two games have been demoralising we have a bunch of boys who are coming to training earlier and earlier and we had two new boys join today...one of them is actually a star fullback...so things could be looking up!

 

[gjohn85]

It's great news that you are coaching rugby. Whilst the two games where disappointing, you are building a foundation for success. You must be very fortunate to have lads eager to play rugby, no matter the result.

You must be doing something right as more kids are showing up. I don't think it won't be long before the results are the other way round

Keep up the good work & wish your team the best of luck for the season from all the guys on TRF.

 

[Gay-Guy]

Something else happened on Wednesday......I became a child's "first contact"!!!! I felt really privileged.

What happened was that my two support coaches were running their drills with the backs and the forwards. I was going to my car to get another ball for the backs. A car stopped and a guy wound down the passenger window and asked me how do I sign up a five year old to play. I started telling him the people he needs to find around the grounds who will sign up his kid.....then I looked at the kid....he honestly was such a beautiful boy....I couldn't help myself and ignored the guy who I was talking to and turned to the kid and said "Hey...hows it going?" and gave him a huge smile.

Later on I realised the importance of my actions for the 5 year old boy as I was his "first contact" of a rugby club. He would have been a bit shy and all and perhaps even scared....hopefully when this scary looking Samoan guy gave him a huge smile he would have gotten a positive first impression of grassroots rugby.

 

[gjohn85]

Something else happened on Wednesday......I became a child's "first contact"!!!! I felt really privileged.

What happened was that my two support coaches were running their drills with the backs and the forwards. I was going to my car to get another ball for the backs. A car stopped and a guy wound down the passenger window and asked me how do I sign up a five year old to play. I started telling him the people he needs to find around the grounds who will sign up his kid.....then I looked at the kid....he honestly was such a beautiful boy....I couldn't help myself and ignored the guy who I was talking to and turned to the kid and said "Hey...hows it going?" and gave him a huge smile.

Later on I realised the importance of my actions for the 5 year old boy as I was his "first contact" of a rugby club. He would have been a bit shy and all and perhaps even scared....hopefully when this scary looking Samoan guy gave him a huge smile he would have gotten a positive first impression of grassroots rugby.
[/b]

Gay-guy, you big softie.
I bet that's where the name gay-guy came from...you're a bit too friendly to be straight.