You will have to excuse my brevity this week. I have had a very stressful week culminating in me almost breaking my left foot earlier today, so i'm not in a particularly good mood. I really need to get laid. As such, I havent proof-read this as thoroughly as usual, due to the fact I dont keep wet ice near electronic computers. If i've made a mistake, I humbly apologise. Looking forward to next week by sheer virtue of the fact that it won't be this one...
The Week That Was - week ending 3rd August 2007
The Week That Was - week ending 3rd August 2007
- No Grand Thievery of Automobies this year
Rockstar, in a completely and utterly expected move (by me), have confirmed that GTA IV will not make it out this year. I always thought such a short development time was somewhat disconcerting (it has only been around a year since it was officially announced, and much longer before any of us saw assets from the game), and it would seem Rockstar agree. The excuses seem to suggest that the development on multiple "very different" platforms is to blame and the "delay was essential to ensure the quality of GTA IV".
No new concrete date has been set in its place, just a vague Q2 of fiscal year 2008, which begins February 1st. I guess this means it'll be going up against MGS4 as opposed to Halo 3 and completely leaves this Christmas wide open for competitors. Unless you live in the UK, where Need for Speed has took the number 1 Christmas spot every year, much like any X Factor contestant.
- Manhunt objects!
Also in Rockstar-related news, it seems that Rockstar has decided to launch an appeal against the BBFC's decision to not give Manhunt 2 an age rating, banning it from retail in the UK. The last game to be banned in the UK, Carmageddon (1997 - 10 years prior), was also appealed - in this case successfully, albeit under the compromise that the denziens of the city be transformed into zombies, complete with green blood. It shall be interesting to watch this case and if any similar compromise is made.
- Who Needs Convention?
Typically these big events are preceded by a huge presentation from the big three (Sony, Nintendo, Microsoft) where they unleash the big guns. However, for this event, it seems they want to try something a little bit different. Nintendo have confirmed they wont be having a conference at all, instead leading groups of people on "media tours" around the stands, explaining the games and giving detailed hands-on previews. Microsoft themselves have also admitted that they will be offering a "unique" take on the conference, in the form of what they're calling a "get together". Indeed, it seems that only Sony are sticking to the traditional format, and with rumours floating around that vary from a deployment of the Playstation Home to a European price-cut, they certainly have the potential to talk something big. Odds are they wont, if past experience is anything to go by. The Games Convention runs from the 22nd to the 28th August.
- Super Smash Bros: The Random Engrish
As we all know, we play Super Smash Bros for its intuitive multiplayer (and hopefully with this new version, we'll finally be able to see exactly how a blue hedgehog smashes a fat plumbers face into the ground) and with Wi-Fi multiplayer already confirmed, billy no-mates such as me can even join in on the fun. However, not one to rest on his laurels, Masahiro Sakurai has confirmed that the single-player offering will be expanded into a full side-scrolling action game called The Subspace Emissary as part of the package. Expect cutscenes! Expect character development! Expect all manner of beating people up! Ike was also confirmed as a playable character, representing the Fire Emblem posse.
- Marvel at the mediocrity
Electronic Arts has confirmed that they will be making another game based on the Marvel superhero license that bore the dreaded dreck that was Rise of the Imperfects. It'll be made at the Chicago studios - the one responsible for Fight Night and Def Jam: Icon, one of which was hailed as brilliant while the other considered an insult to gamers. "We're challenging ourselves to make a game that delivers on the Super Hero promises of past top-tier fighting games," said Kudo Tsunoda, big cheese at EA Chicago. Get Capcom to make it then.
- Challenge Everything (so long as its not over a year old)
Got an EA game older than a year old? Want to play it online? Tough luck matey, as EA has confirmed its latest culls to happen in the near-future. From 1st September, you wont be able to play Arena Football (PS2, Xbox), FIFA Soccer 06 (X360, PC, PS2, PSP, Xbox), FIFA World Cup 2006 (PC, PS2, PSP, Xbox), Fight Night Round 3 (PSP, Xbox), Madden NFL 06 (X360, PC, PS2, PSP, Xbox), Marvel Nemesis: Rise of the Imperfects (PS2, Xbox), MVP 07 NCAA Baseball (PS2, Xbox), NASCAR 06 Total Team Control (PS2, Xbox), NBA Live 06 (X360, PC, PS2, PSP), NCAA Football 2005 (Xbox), NCAA Football 2006 (PS2, Xbox), NCAA March Madness 06 (PS2, Xbox), NFL Head Coach (PC, Xbox, PS2), NHL 06 (PC, PS2, Xbox) and Tiger Woods PGA Tour 06 (X360, Xbox) online. And from 1st November, access to the online mode of Burnout Revenge (Xbox, PS2), Need for Speed Underground (PS2), Need for Speed Underground 2 (PC, PS2) and Need for Speed Most Wanted (PSP, Xbox) will be prohibited. Now give me some oxygen.
- Brickin' it
Traveller's Tales, recently adding to the pile of rubbish Transformers video games (read: all of them bar the PS2 one a few years back), have confirmed they're now working on Lego Indiana Jones. Given that they're also developing Lego Batman and Lego Star Wars III (which is itself just a combination of LSW1&2 - a lazy cash-in if ever there was one), my faith in the company has died such a death. Not that I had much to begin with. The Star Wars games were brill and Sonic R was alright, I guess...
- Bolling for Columbine
Horrendous director Uwe Boll is being sued by the New York Post for creating promotional websites for his latest video game-movie translation Postal that parodied the newspaper. While the design mimicked the newspaper's down to colour schemes and layout, the sites portrayed rousing images of terrorism in the Middle East - with a disclaimer at the bottom reading "Achtung, Satire!" Seems the New York Post didnt see the funny side. His motivation for such a move was apparently due to their slating of the movie, citing "The first mass-marketed film to mock the tragedy of 9/11."
In other Hollywood-video game news, film studio Guy Walks Into a Bar has snapped up the rights to make a Hollywood version of Painkiller. Penning the adaptation will be Ben McCaw, who may be known by film buffs but I honestly have no clue because every video game-film adaptation i've ever seen has been an affront to my eyes, resulting in me not bothering to keep up with it all.
- Lesser games announced this week
Plenty of games announced this week. First up we've got Viva Pinata for the DS, apparently containing all of the essence, if not the graphical grunt, of the X360 original and is being developed by Rare (why did Microsoft buy them again?). Also Bethesda is trying another Star Trek game, this time subtitled Conquest and available for the PS2 and Wii. Any hopes that it might have been good can be chucked straight out of the window as it will retail for $19.99 (Â£10) in the US. And unless your name is Global Defence Force, retailing at a tenner is not exactly a sign of quality. (Speaking of Global Defence Force, it's now available in Morrisons for a bargain-tastic Â£5.99. Unless you suffer from arachnophobia, I think you'll find it a fabulous game in your PS2 collection, especially at that price.) Also, the latest World of Warcraft expansion details appear to have been leaked on the net, but to be honest, if your into that kind of thing, odds are you've probably devoured every little ounce of that information anyways. And if your not, you probably dont care.
- Xbox Live Arcade
Spyglass Board Games
- Wii Virtual Console
Drop Off (TurboGrafx-16)
Dynamite Heady (Mega Drive)
Shining Force (Mega Drive)
Shinobi III (Mega Drive)
- Nintendo DS
Guilty Gear: Dust Strikers
Guilty Gear: Judgement
Mario Party 8 (third time lucky, eh?)
Combat Mission: Shock Force
- Licensed Kid's Movie garbage available on every platform under the sun, even the GBA