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Three Women

C

Commander Jaco

Guest
Three women had a very late night drinking.
>>
>> > They left the bar
>>
>> > in the early morning hours and went home their
>>
>> > separate ways.
>>
>> > The next day, they all met and compared notes
>>
>> > about who was
>>
>> > drunker the night before.
>>
>> >
>>
>> > The first girl claimed that she was she
>>
>> > drunkest saying, "I
>>
>> > drove straight home and walked into the house.
>>
>> > As soon as I
>>
>> > got through the door, I blew chunks."
>>
>> >
>>
>> > The second said, "You think that was drunk?
>>
>> > Hell, I got into
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>> > my car and wrapped it around the first tree I
>>
>> > saw. I don't
>>
>> > even have insurance!"
>>
>> >
>>
>> > The third proclaimed, "Damn, I was the drunkest
>>
>> > by far. When
>>
>> > I got home, I got into a big fight with my
>>
>> > husband, knocked a
>>
>> > candle over, and burned the whole house down!"
>>
>> >
>>
>> > The room was silent for a moment. Then, the
>>
>> > first girl spoke
>>
>> > out again, "Listen girls, I don't think you
>>
>> > understand.
>>
>> > Chunks is my dog."
 
S

shtove

Guest
:bravo:

A woman goes to her plastic surgeon with a bit of a personal problem down below. She's got a flabby pussy and wants a couple of bits sliced off. But the operation has to be strictly confidential - "Nobody must know!"

The surgeon says, "Sure, no sweat. We'll just knock you out, wheel you in, slice slice, and wheel you out.

The operation goes ahead - no problems - but as she comes round from the anaesthetic the woman notices three red roses carefully placed on the table beside her bed. She jams her thumb on the buzzer, and the surgeon comes running in.

"What's up? What's up?"
"I told you", said the woman, "nobody was to know about the operation!"
"Didn't tell a soul", said the surgeon.
"Then what about the roses?"
"Ah", said the surgeon, "the first one is from me. I felt sorry for you going through this all alone. And the second rose is from the nurse who assisted in theater."
"Ok", said the woman, "but what about the third rose?"
"Oh, that's from a chap on the burns unit upstairs. He'd just like to say ... thanks for the new lips."
 
C

Commander Jaco

Guest
O...k weird but funny nonetheless,
QUOTE(Brodizzle @ Aug 10 2007, 03:44 PM) *
....that makes me queasy....
So long as you don`t blow chunks mate![/b]
Ja Please dont blow chunks :D I laughed a lot when I first read that joke.
I got lots more I am just too lazy to get them o wait here's one:

A pastor went out one Saturday to visit his church members. At one house
it was obvious that someone was home, but nobody came to the door even
though the pastor had knocked several times. Finally, the pastor took
out his card and wrote "Revelations 3:20" on the back of it, and stuck
it in the door.

[Revelations 3:20: Behold, I stand at he door and knock. If anyone hears
my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him and
him with me.]

The next day, the card turned up in the collection plate. Below the
pastor's message was the notation "Genesis 3:10".

[Genesis 3:10: I heard your voice in the garden, and I was afraid,
because I was naked; and I hid myself.]
 

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