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UFO Sightings
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<blockquote data-quote="QKXV" data-source="post: 76407"><p>Alrighty, then ... picture this if you will.</p><p></p><p>Began at 2 AM, and after eating an entire box of Krispy Kremes, at my need-to-know post just outside Area 51 contemplating the whole "chosen people" thing / the multitudes of people, thinking when a flaming, stealth banana split the sky, like, wide open. I never expected to see it in a place like this.</p><p></p><p>I do believe I spilled a diet soda or something right on my Birkenstocks.</p><p>Then yelping Holy f*cking ****!</p><p></p><p>Then the X-Files beings, who were in some kind of blue-green jet ship with Isabella Rossellini lips with breath that reeked,did a wicked jump there</p><p>also while making the sound a-banana-da-banana that's when I opened up my bug-eyes, my gaping jaw, and my sweaty L. Ron Hubbard upper lip,</p><p>and all I could think was, "I hope Uncle Quark here doesn't notice</p><p>that I ****** my f*ckin' pants."</p><p></p><p>So alive in this way like an apparition, He had me crying out,</p><p>"f*** me, It's gotta be Deadhead Chemistry The bottom got on top of me</p><p></p><p><strong>Got me seein' E-motherf*ckin'-T!"</strong></p><p></p><p>And after calming me down with some orange slices</p><p>and some fetal spooning, E.T. revealed to me his singular purpose.</p><p>He said, "You are the Chosen One, the One who will deliver the message.</p><p>A message of hope to those who choose to hear it and a warning to those who do not." Me. The Chosen One? They chose me, and I didn't graduate from f*ckin' high school.</p><p></p><p></p><p>You'd better listen.</p><p></p><p>Then he looked right through me, With somniferous almond eyes</p><p>Don't even know what that means Must remember to write it down</p><p>This is surreal, Like the time they floated away See, my heart is pounding</p><p>'Cause this **** never happens to me</p><p></p><p>I can't breathe right now!</p><p></p><p>It was so real,</p><p>Like I woke up in Wonderland.</p><p>Also a bit terrifying</p><p>I don't wanna be all alone</p><p>When I tell this story.</p><p>And can anyone tell me why</p><p>[It was a repeat experience / ??]</p><p>Will I ever be coming down?</p><p>This is so real</p><p>Finally, it's my lucky day</p><p>See, my heart is racing</p><p>'Cause this **** never happens to me</p><p></p><p>I can't breathe right now!</p><p></p><p>You believe me, don't you?</p><p>Please believe what I just said!</p><p>See [them / they're] telling children</p><p>And this wasn't all in my head.</p><p>See, they took me by the hand</p><p>And invited me right in.</p><p>Then they showed me something</p><p>I don't even know where to begin.</p><p></p><p>Strapped down on my bed</p><p>Feet cold, eyes red</p><p>I'm out of my head</p><p>Am I alive? Am I dead?</p><p>Can't remember what they said</p><p>God damn, **** the bed</p><p></p><p></p><p>Overwhelmed as one would be, placed in my position.</p><p>Such a heavy burden now to be the One</p><p>Born to bear and read you all the details of our ending,</p><p>To write it down for all the world to see.</p><p></p><p>But I forgot my pen</p><p>**** the bed again ...</p><p>Typical.</p><p></p><p>Strapped down on my bed</p><p>Feet cold and eyes red</p><p>I'm out of my head</p><p>Am I alive? Am I dead?</p><p>Sunkist and Sudafed</p><p>Gyroscopes and [Nicorette / infrared]</p><p>Won't help, brain dead</p><p>Can't remember what they said</p><p>God damn, **** the bed</p><p></p><p>I can't remember what they said to me</p><p>Can't remember what they said to make me out to be a hero</p><p>Can't remember what [they / he / it] said</p><p>[Oh / God] help me!</p><p>Can't remember what [they / he / it] said</p><p></p><p>Don't know, won't know </p><p></p><p>God damn, **** the bed!</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Not my own experience but that of Rippers' favourite band TOol.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="QKXV, post: 76407"] Alrighty, then ... picture this if you will. Began at 2 AM, and after eating an entire box of Krispy Kremes, at my need-to-know post just outside Area 51 contemplating the whole "chosen people" thing / the multitudes of people, thinking when a flaming, stealth banana split the sky, like, wide open. I never expected to see it in a place like this. I do believe I spilled a diet soda or something right on my Birkenstocks. Then yelping Holy f*cking ****! Then the X-Files beings, who were in some kind of blue-green jet ship with Isabella Rossellini lips with breath that reeked,did a wicked jump there also while making the sound a-banana-da-banana that's when I opened up my bug-eyes, my gaping jaw, and my sweaty L. Ron Hubbard upper lip, and all I could think was, "I hope Uncle Quark here doesn't notice that I ****** my f*ckin' pants." So alive in this way like an apparition, He had me crying out, "f*** me, It's gotta be Deadhead Chemistry The bottom got on top of me [b]Got me seein' E-motherf*ckin'-T!"[/b] And after calming me down with some orange slices and some fetal spooning, E.T. revealed to me his singular purpose. He said, "You are the Chosen One, the One who will deliver the message. A message of hope to those who choose to hear it and a warning to those who do not." Me. The Chosen One? They chose me, and I didn't graduate from f*ckin' high school. You'd better listen. Then he looked right through me, With somniferous almond eyes Don't even know what that means Must remember to write it down This is surreal, Like the time they floated away See, my heart is pounding 'Cause this **** never happens to me I can't breathe right now! It was so real, Like I woke up in Wonderland. Also a bit terrifying I don't wanna be all alone When I tell this story. And can anyone tell me why [It was a repeat experience / ??] Will I ever be coming down? This is so real Finally, it's my lucky day See, my heart is racing 'Cause this **** never happens to me I can't breathe right now! You believe me, don't you? Please believe what I just said! See [them / they're] telling children And this wasn't all in my head. See, they took me by the hand And invited me right in. Then they showed me something I don't even know where to begin. Strapped down on my bed Feet cold, eyes red I'm out of my head Am I alive? Am I dead? Can't remember what they said God damn, **** the bed Overwhelmed as one would be, placed in my position. Such a heavy burden now to be the One Born to bear and read you all the details of our ending, To write it down for all the world to see. But I forgot my pen **** the bed again ... Typical. Strapped down on my bed Feet cold and eyes red I'm out of my head Am I alive? Am I dead? Sunkist and Sudafed Gyroscopes and [Nicorette / infrared] Won't help, brain dead Can't remember what they said God damn, **** the bed I can't remember what they said to me Can't remember what they said to make me out to be a hero Can't remember what [they / he / it] said [Oh / God] help me! Can't remember what [they / he / it] said Don't know, won't know God damn, **** the bed! Not my own experience but that of Rippers' favourite band TOol. [/QUOTE]
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