Why always want what you can't have?

Discussion in 'The Clubhouse Bar' started by Laetca, Jul 12, 2007.

  1. Laetca

    Laetca Guest

    Do you think it's built in to humans to crave things they simply can't have, or is it a form of self-mutilation we subject ourselves to for some reason?

    It might seem a dumb example (as a matter of fact, I'm very sure it is a dumb example) , but for instance, why have I been staring of pictures like the following for quite some time now, knowing those products are either not sold where I live, or hard to get (like, going to one special supermarket to find the cookies) when there are hundred of other tasty and fattening cookies and ice-cream brands?

    [​IMG] [​IMG]

    The cookie example is just an example, it's a serious question, why always go for the grass on the other side?
  2. Forum Ad Advertisement

  3. Gulli

    Gulli Guest

    because its always greener on the other side

    until you get there :p
  4. Rugby_Cymru

    Rugby_Cymru Guest

    It's ridiculous - it really is.

    I have ALWAYS been the guy who wants what he can't get. But i reckon everyone's like that.
    I want the car i can't afford, i want the girl that's got her arms wrapped around that guy - i want i want i want.

    But i see this as a blessing. This, "wanting what i can't have" drives me on.
    It drives me to work hard, get that publishing contract i deserve and earn those pounds to buy the car i want.
    It drives me to work on my people skills, be more charming and learn how to manipulate and be conniving so that the hot girl on that guy's arm pays attention to me, that she gets a positive experience whenever she see's me.

    It makes me ruthless, and it makes me into the person - that, inside i feel - i should be.
  5. Bullitt

    Bullitt Guest

    Right now I want a beer...
  6. QKXV

    QKXV Guest


    Brilliant question and a very interesting topic. Poor example though, sure many people will shoot me down for saying this but oreo's taste like charcoal.

    I have never been a materialistic person, having the perfect car or the latest ipod has never really appealed to me and my feeling here is that your question was born out of a want for someone rather than a want for something. Might be wrong but I'll bet a rep point that I am right.

    The day after we got married me and my wife were making our way back from a yacht we spent our first night as a married couple on. Part of our journey home took us through a busy train station, the most beautiful people in the world were on the station, it was like someone was pulling a prank on us becasue we just made all these vows to exclude all others etc. Everywhere around, not an ugly person in sight, this somehow continued all the way home. We laugh about it often but I doubt that the journey was really filled with beautiful people, it was pure percetption that these people were beautiful because everyone were now 'forbidden' territory.

    I think this behavioural pattern is hardwired in our genes so that there can always be progress.Choosing the best mate gives best genes and oppertunities to your young just like the need to be seen in specific clothes/cars/houses motivates people to achieve and so on, the same force at work. Dreams and desires is what makes the world go round, the money is purely a by-product.
  7. It is a can of worms but it's definitely something in there that inspires us & drives us on to reach for what's just out of our grasp. It's why we've done so well.

    Look at things like the way we've managed to spread & adapt to every corner of the globe...why did people set out and end up in places like Easter Island....or ever the moon. Why do we keep having to invent better things...it's not a survival thing.

    The counter-example to this is the Ausrtalian aborigines....they just got somewhere and found out how to live adequately on it. It's really notable how little they set about changing everything to make their lives easier.
  8. QKXV

    QKXV Guest

    It is a can of worms but it's definitely something in there that inspires us & drives us on to reach for what's just out of our grasp. It's why we've done so well.

    Look at things like the way we've managed to spread & adapt to every corner of the globe...why did people set out and end up in places like Easter Island....or ever the moon. Why do we keep having to invent better things...it's not a survival thing.[/b][/quote]

    I think all these things are simply an extrapolation on this basic instinct of survival, even though at times it's actually counter-productive. The basic need for early homonid's to mass produce tools from stones as long ago as 2 million years was simply the beginning of trying to exceed the demands of the environment and ensure their survival. Over years of evolution and progress we seem very prosperous but with all the prosperity comes new demands that potentially endanger our survival, therefore the need to continuously develop better technologies and break the limits, just like a glorified stone axe, otherwise we would've stopped once we reached utopia. The grass is greener because our bellies get bigger

    Good point. There is exceptions to the rule..... or maybe it's just exceptions to our perception of the survival rule because we the majority have manipulated the environmental demands so much that they can't adapt fast enough to the new demands. The argument that the Aboriginals evolved seperately from the human species has only recently been settled by the genetic links found between them and the natives from Papa New Guineau, suggesting that they are part of the out of africa group we're all decendent from, but, once settled in Aus they evolved in isolation and were faced by their own unique set of demands on their survival until Europeans arrived. Up to then they were probably in very good nick, the masters of their universe.

    To understand what's going on with the Aboriginal people you need only to look at what the case is in Aus at the moment. The WHO had recently released a report which suggests that their health is on par with the health of European Australians before the discovery of penicillin, the average life expectancy of Aboriginal males in areas is as low as 33. Either the logistics of getting health out into the outback is impossible or simply nobody cares, which sort of puts apartheid to shame. The alternative is that they simply can't adapt fast enough to meet the survival demands of the world as dictated by ourselves because we've changed the goalposts of survival and introduced so many new stresses to their environment that they simply can't catch up.

    There is a story about a missionary who ended up with a tribe somewhere in the amazon, these people used open fires in the middle of their huts, the result of this was that they had some major healt issues with their lungs and eyes or something to that effect. The guy left and returned with a type of stove with cimneys that can get the smoke out of their huts safely. He then returned several years later to find a ghost village with only a few survivors because the smoke used to protect them from disease by killing insects and keeping the grass on their roofs dry. Nowadays it's not only physical survival that encourages us to do things but also social survival, if you don't have the right car or job or clothes you can't belong to this or that group or whatever, even our urge of curiosity and thirst for knowledge can be drawn back to our basic need as mammals - survival of the species, passing on the genes.

    *information about aboriginals and WHO report taken from New Scientist magazine
  9. Laetca

    Laetca Guest

    Now that I look back on it, indeed a poor example (although I disagree with the charcoal statement)

    About us, or any other species, selecting the best partners to give our offspring better genes and thus better qualities and such, it's what Darwin called sexual something (I know exactly the page where it's written in my book but too lazy to get up and fetch it atm). Anyway Darwin stated that indeed females picked out most eligible males to pass on positive qualities, BUT a side note mentioned that some females choose males with useless and often negative qualities, like female gorillas only mating with the biggest, heaviest male, thus the male who isn't fast enough to flee in case of danger, but has to fight to defend himself.
    Same with some exotic birds, females pick out the makes with the prettiest biggest tail, which is actually a disadvantage for the male, since it can't turn very fast while in air.

    I don't think other peoples develop 'slower' than we do, everyone does so at their own pace, the reason we developed so fast was just a coincidence, at least that's my idea on it.
Enjoyed this thread? Register to post your reply - click here!

Share This Page