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The Clubhouse Bar
Dropping my Girlfriend
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<blockquote data-quote="Gay-Guy" data-source="post: 312789" data-attributes="member: 12225"><p>I understand how some people see marijuana as something which isn't a big deal....for a lot of people alcohol isn't a big deal.</p><p> </p><p>I don't dispute the argument that these things in moderation are ok....that there is no big deal.</p><p> </p><p>However...from where I come from....it is a big deal....because it is something that encourages the minority group to stay as the minority.</p><p> </p><p>In places where there is poverty there is often a lack of power. With the lack of power comes frustration. That frustration can lead to unsociable behaviour. Unsociable behaviour is often supported by stimulants or depressants that blur the reality...because the reality of poverty and powerlessness can be quite hard to stomach.</p><p> </p><p>Talking generally:</p><p>Alcohol and Marijuana may be taken in moderation by folk who are better off in society...but amongst those who have nothing going for them it is seen as an escape.</p><p> </p><p>Anyway I live in a poor area in NZ with people who are seen as poorer amongst kiwis. Using school speak my area would be classed as Decile 1. The richest areas in NZ having a decile 10 rating. </p><p> </p><p>I realise alcoholism and drug abuse are the symptoms of underlying issues for those from my area and that the answer is to address the issues if there is to be change. I also realise that my GF always goes back to marijuana and cigarettes when things are not going well in her life. At the moment she does not feel happy about her situation. She is out of a job and feels alienated from society. Therefore she turns to dope and cigs as a comfort.</p><p> </p><p>My dillema is trying to decide whether to drop her for that....or to get to the root of the problem.</p><p> </p><p>There was a period for a year when she was really happy about us and about life....she gave up smoking and stoppped taking drugs. I have to admit it was a time when I said "I love you" everyday...something I don't do anymore.</p><p> </p><p>I often blame her for not being good enough.....i sometimes wonder if I am compounding the problem by highlighting her shortcomings....as if I drive her back to her addictions.</p><p> </p><p>Perhaps I do....</p><p> </p><p>Maybe I should just focus on the positives.....perhaps she would have given up cigs and dropped dope if I built her up to be more than a smoker doper.</p><p> </p><p>Then there are times when I think that building her up to be something amazing is futile...that once a addict always an addict. Sometimes I think I am wasting my time because it looks like I am trying to control her.</p><p> </p><p>Anyway....I an still thinking....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Gay-Guy, post: 312789, member: 12225"] I understand how some people see marijuana as something which isn't a big deal....for a lot of people alcohol isn't a big deal. I don't dispute the argument that these things in moderation are ok....that there is no big deal. However...from where I come from....it is a big deal....because it is something that encourages the minority group to stay as the minority. In places where there is poverty there is often a lack of power. With the lack of power comes frustration. That frustration can lead to unsociable behaviour. Unsociable behaviour is often supported by stimulants or depressants that blur the reality...because the reality of poverty and powerlessness can be quite hard to stomach. Talking generally: Alcohol and Marijuana may be taken in moderation by folk who are better off in society...but amongst those who have nothing going for them it is seen as an escape. Anyway I live in a poor area in NZ with people who are seen as poorer amongst kiwis. Using school speak my area would be classed as Decile 1. The richest areas in NZ having a decile 10 rating. I realise alcoholism and drug abuse are the symptoms of underlying issues for those from my area and that the answer is to address the issues if there is to be change. I also realise that my GF always goes back to marijuana and cigarettes when things are not going well in her life. At the moment she does not feel happy about her situation. She is out of a job and feels alienated from society. Therefore she turns to dope and cigs as a comfort. My dillema is trying to decide whether to drop her for that....or to get to the root of the problem. There was a period for a year when she was really happy about us and about life....she gave up smoking and stoppped taking drugs. I have to admit it was a time when I said "I love you" everyday...something I don't do anymore. I often blame her for not being good enough.....i sometimes wonder if I am compounding the problem by highlighting her shortcomings....as if I drive her back to her addictions. Perhaps I do.... Maybe I should just focus on the positives.....perhaps she would have given up cigs and dropped dope if I built her up to be more than a smoker doper. Then there are times when I think that building her up to be something amazing is futile...that once a addict always an addict. Sometimes I think I am wasting my time because it looks like I am trying to control her. Anyway....I an still thinking.... [/QUOTE]
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