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TRF On Tour - Aug 07

B

Bullitt

Guest
One report;

<div align="center">TRF on Tour August 2007 (Northampton Saints vs Samoa) Report
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Active members;
Chris (Teh Mite)
Dan (St.Helens_RLFC)
Charlie (Getofmeland)
Tim (Saintsfan_Webby)
Phil (philhirons)

<div align="center">Friday 17th August – Late arrivals and the comparison between Guitars & G-Strings
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TRF on Tour for August '07 started on the Friday evening 2 days before the match. After a long ass and tedious day at work, Mite managed to sneak out half an hour early to be sure of arriving at the train station in time to meet up with the first arrival, Dan. Of course, as fully expected by anyone who's ever used the rail network, this plan went to pot. Instead of arriving at the scheduled time of 17:05 in Northampton Station, Virgin rail cleverly decided to not have Dan's train depart Wolverhampton until 16:45, thus left Mite stuck sitting at home watching the Lilly Savage 5 O'clock show for over an hour until the text finally came through; Dan's chuffer will be arriving at Northampton in 10 minutes!!! Arrrrgh!!!

Forgoing any good ideas regarding fitness or being healthy, Mite jumped into the motorbrum and headed to the station. After what felt like an eternity trying to park without paying £25 for the first 30 seconds (and an additional £5 for every second thereafter… Who says they don't make a profit on the rail network?), Mite eventually made it into the terminal where the big screen timetable (read; the Poxy small TV with an almost unreadable display) stated Dan's train in fact was slightly delayed by another 10 minutes or so… A chance for a crafty smoke one may think, so Mite walks outside and… Get confronted by a whopping great "No smoking anywhere in station grounds" sign. <_< All of a sudden, there's a ****** off fat rugby fan muttering to himself incomprehensibly around Northampton station.

Eventually, the train arrives and the first meet up eventually happens when Mite and Dan clock each other. After pleasantries have been exchanged and Dan has a rant of his own about the delayed train and its 2mph antics and all of Wolverhampton's rampaging Communists. After even more fun and frolics trying to get the car out of Northampton Stations ridiculous one way system (quickly cured by doing a Sir. Digby Chicken Caesar the wrong way down a bus and taxi lane when nobody was looking), the pair head up to Sainsbury's co collect some refreshments for the evening ahead.. 8 litres of coke and 20 bottles of beer.

The route home was almost perfect timing, as mere minutes after getting back to the flat (12 of them, to be precise) did Charles arrive. Then, only five minutes later still just as we were setting up Guitar Hero 2, did Tim turn up and before any of us could say Jack Robinson the beer was flowing (cola in Dan's case) and much merriment being had.

Now we have a slight problem, as Mite who is writing this report may have needed a lot of refreshment that night, thus in turn is suffering with a slight memory problem as a result; All evidence however indicates Mite drinking nigh-on 15 bottles of beer and half a bottle of Jack Daniels while playing a f***load of old rugby matches on DVD, Charlie taking complete control of Mites PC and pretending to be Mite over MSN (although Windows hadn't been full re-installed yet), Tim deciding the Fosters he brought over wasn't such a hot idea so making do with his cider and Dan becoming a Judas to the Sony cause before the evening was up. Mite then only went to bed himself because everyone else was too knackered to stay up (Tim had already head off home sometime between 1 and 2… Lightweight!), so he was bored sitting on his bill perusing the forum at 4am. Strangely enough, Mite also awoke with a headache the following day!

<div align="center">Saturday 18th August – Heather Graham and when TRF decided Charlie must die
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Despite not going to bed until Stupid-O'clock, Mite kept his reputation as a prize insomniac by being up, showered and dressed by 9:15 and promptly making sure everyone else is awake by causing enough racket in the kitchen to wake the dead. 5 cups of tea later and Mite was beginning to feel human again (although this was thanks mostly to the smug "ha-ha! I woke all of you up!"-ness that only Teh Mite could find amusing).

"Put Soccer AM on!" was the call shouted my Charlie as he sat at Mites PC (again), but as the sports button was pressed, the words "Guinness Rugby" on Sky Sports 3 meant we were instead watching the NPC while Charlie consoled himself by Google searching pictures of Helen Chamberlin in here skimpiest skimpies.

Rugby on the TV eventually another fix for Dan's newly acquired Guitar Hero addiction (the cold turkey before he can afford his new 360 will be torture, I should coco), then everyone almost simultaneously saying it's lunchtime they're hungry… To the sound of the Devils Gallop, Team TRF bum rushed Rainbows fish and Chips in St. James and the feast did commence, however much to Mites annoyance, there was only one BBQ pork "thing" in the whole shop. Mutter, mutter, mutter…" he says as he instructs Dan they're well worth getting. Alas, all got back just in time to catch the 2nd half of Wales v Argentina, when various comments about Wales not getting up Chris Whites arse unlike during the 6 Nations are made.

Not long after lunch and Rugby is done is done (and Dan informs us he's still peckish), Charlie commands "To Sainsbury's!".
"Shotgun!" Mite retaliates.
"********" Dan replies.

Chinese is the order of the day as Charlie kindly purchases' for the whole gang a selection of Sweet and Sour Chicken, Crispy Beef, Spare Ribs, Crackers, Rice and Breaded mushrooms (not forgetting another 20 bottles of Grolsch and ale) for the upcoming France v England fixture.

Back in the flat and much swearing ensued as the worst England team many people have ever seen put on a far from reasonable performance against an average French side, Mite and Charlie almost come to blows over the merits of Barkley and Mears in the squad and Dan comments how the artist in the stadium was canvassing a still-life painting.

To restore balance to the world after the disappointment of Brian Astons idiocy, Austin Powers 2 started up on TV. Sadly, this meant while Charlie and Dan wanted to discuss serious forum related matters, Mites attention was elsewhere as Heather Graham was on TV constantly being near naked. This prompted Charlie to announce to us all "Heather Graham was once in a Porno!!!" As one may expect, this was Charlie's new mission for the evening: "Find the Heather Graham porn on the internet and a 30 second clip on Boogie Nights doesn't count!!!".

Despite contacting Nate, Matt and many other MSN contacts, trolling many NSFW websites and discovering some very strange (and probably illegal) stuff along the way, he could not deliver on his promise and failed miserably. This was the moment when both Dan and Mite decided Charlie must die.

An early night was then had by all, the gang all passing out in their respective rooms at about 01:00.

<div align="center">Sunday 19th August – Did you ever hear the one about the Bath fan, the League fan and the Alcoholic watching Northampton v Samoa?
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Another early start from Mite, then the impromptu use of Woosahs Rugby 08 editor and various levels of shouting at the PC meant yet again everyone was forced to be awake as before 9am on match day… Charlie eventually told his host to keep the bloody noise down at 8:30 as he was still knackered. Still, Mite spanked Charlie's Bath 98-7 with Northampton after he decided to pick up the spare joypad. Sorry, Charlie. Alas, one more game on the PC against Samoa lead to an enormous 50pt+ victory to the Jimmies. A premonition for the afternoons game? It looked like it, but we'll come to that later.

Team TRF made their way to Franklins Gardens for about 1 O'clock and first things first, Mite got in a round; 1 Guinness for Charlie and 2 pints of lager for Mite (Dan wasn't thirsty). A quick and brief stadium tour later (prompting Dan and Charlie to both ask "what the hell is a big lake doing out here?") and the gang met up with philhirons, bearing his brand new Red <strike>Arsenal</strike> England shirt, which inspired many a **** take from Mite. Fun, banter, and many **** takes at Ollie Barkley and Andy Farrell's expense and a heated debate between the merits of Paul Wellens Vs. Bruce Reihana ensured the next hour flew by (especially for Mite after he finished pre-match beer number 5) and we were ready to take our place on the terrace watch the Club vs. Country spectacular.

The first half featured a 1/2 strength Northampton (missing Clarke, Spencer, Hartley, Van Niekerk, Ashton, Lamont & Cohen to name but a few) vs. what was a very experimental Samoan side, and it was apparent from the off as Northampton both had the best of the Pacific Islanders' pack and ran the backs ragged. This was compounded after 10 minutes when the Saints fullback Reihana had successfully broken both Samoan props, Kas and Kerslake, making one of his trademark runs blasting through tackles with handoffs and shoulder charges.

The halftime score of 16-10 somewhat flattered the Samoans, with their blindside flanker Leo blatantly putting his hands inside a ruck under the refs nose (and somehow getting away with it) allowed the Samoans to make a very well worked move from the steal on the stroke of halftime and go for in the orange within one converted score separating the sides.

Northampton virtually put a team of academy youngsters and reserves out for the second half, dropping Myler, Robinson, Shields, Short, Tupai and Fox, although you wouldn't have believed it from the start the young Saints side made to the 2nd period. Karl Rudzki made the first charge of the second half it was three starters who created the next try. After an attacking lineout Damien Browne spotted space on the left and threw a long pass to Mark Easter (younger brother of England's rising star, Nick). He in turn drew the defence and left Harries to slide in at the corner. Myler missed the conversion and a penalty which turned out to be crucial, as wave after wave of Samoan bulldozers attempted to, and in many cases succeeded in rumbling over the Saints defensive line.

The youngsters stood up the big fat Samoans admirably, but it was only inevitable that the lead would get overtaken, the crucial Samoan try coming in the 65th minute. One last gasp attack against the 14 man Samoans (after Faatou got himself binned for using one too many WWF moves) in the 82nd minute proved fruitless and the Samoans saved their blushes going into the World Cup. Final Score, <strike>New Zealand</strike> Northampton Saints 21 -24 Manu Samoa.

However, if that's ranked 11th in the World witnessed at Franklins Gardens, it shows just how poor international rugby is right now when a bunch of teenagers (talented teenagers maybe, but still just kids)can for large parts of a half outplay a side who are grouped alongside both the current World Champions and 2nd favourites for Webb Ellis this year.

After the game, Dan, Phil and Charlie made a bee line for the bar to catch Liverpool v Chelsea while Mite went for a **** and a smoke, which was the story of the next 2 hours; Dan and Charlie watched the footy and Mite got drunk with the Supporters club. During this time also, the seeds were planted in a few minds about creating some sort of fans association between St. Helens and Northampton… So if anything is ever made of that, remember that TRF members (namely, Dan and Mite) started it!

Then, not a moment too soon because of the rapidly deteriorating weather, Charlie cut his losses and set off home before the traffic would have left him on the road until midnight. "So long, farewell, copy me that CD" were his parting words and off he went, to which would turn out to be a very reasonable run of 2½ hours.

Mite and Dan went back down the pub, just in time for Les Catalans v Wakefield where Mite proceeded to get drunk and apparently chat some Irish bird up (although all memories of this are non existent and all accusations are fiercely denied). During this period, Mire and Dan also teach the Northampton supporters club St. Helens' coral version of "Oh when the Saints", which hopefully will get it's terrace debut this weekend against Harlequins.

The pair set off back home at midnight(ish), get even more Chinese food which was consumed while watching a recording of St. Helens v Wigan and that's the end of another matchday.
 
Man, that sounds like you guys had an awesome time. Too much drinking for my liking, but that must have been a great laugh.
And looks like Charlie was on the end of one of Mite's famous hammerings - ouch.

Got to arrange another one soon guys!

Did you take any photos?
 
A couple (and I literally mean 2), but for some reason my Phone won't connect to my PC, so they're stuck in limbo for now.
 
Update;

Charlie is Stephen Merchant
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Tim is erm... Pete Docherty?
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Sounds like u guyz had a ball, great post guys. Im startin to feel real concern for my team as from wat I heard they havnt looked at allimpressive in their 2 warm up games. I hop this is not a sign f things to come otherwise the likes of England and south africa will c Samoa get slaughterd :(
 

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