Are you a genius if...

Discussion in 'The Clubhouse Bar' started by Rugby_Cymru, Dec 6, 2006.

  1. Rugby_Cymru

    Rugby_Cymru Guest

    Now i had the pleasure of working with a lad today who is so funny becuase he is so uneducated. He's 17 and he truly believes that there are no wild chickens; when he imagines India he pictures dead bodies in the street for some reason; and then today he came up with a corker...

    Just recently i was talking to him about Einstein's proposed theory of relativity and Stephen Hawking's book, 'Brief History of Time'. I went into indepth detail saying how people have long believed and are still adamant to this very day that they can bend time and space. I provided him evidence with which scientists are using these days for structure their arguments and he took all of this in quietly and in deep contemplation. A few minutes later i asked him what he was thinking and he said:

    'Can you really be a genius if you can't tie your own shoelaces?'

    Where that came from i have no idea...but for some reason i continued the conversation.

    'It's possible, yes.' i replied
    'Name someone.' He said.
    'The guy who ive just been talking about for 20 minutes...Stephen hawking.'
    'You think he's a genius?'
    'In his field, yes. And allegedly he's one of - if not the - most intelligent people on earth.'
    To which he replied, 'OH BULLSHIT! HIS COMPUTER DOES ALL THAT THINKING FOR HIM!'

    I ask you, is the youth really becoming this way inclined?
    Or have i really just been put to work with a chav?

    Who here works with an - and i don't hesitate to say it - idiot of this proportion?
     
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  3. Ripper

    Ripper Guest

    Push him down the stairs
     
  4. el_tk

    el_tk Guest

    Bring him to a round room.

    Tell him to wait for you in the corner.

    Leave and lock the door.

    Never return.
     
  5. Gulli

    Gulli Guest

    lmao! i have had the undoubted pleasure of working with a few people like that in my life.
    Once worked with a kid who tried to hammer a screw into a bit of wood with a spanner.... he couldn't have got it much more wrong bless him :p
     
  6. Caledfwlch

    Caledfwlch Guest

    break his legs spine and neck, make him just like hawking and give him a computer

    "now lets see that computer think for you mate"
     
  7. Gay-Guy

    Gay-Guy Guest

    Sounds like Alcohol fetal syndrome...his mum may have been drinking when he was in the womb.
     
  8. The Flash

    The Flash Guest

    I know of ONE worse. This guy I speak of believed (for a short time, till we all put him right) that the moon was made of green cheese and that astronauts bring back the product we eat, from up there.

    He also believed that Brazil was the capital of Australia. Almost anything told to him with a straight face (by someone he thought was "COOL") would be believed.

    He had a ring which when he put it on, we all pretended that he could punch us all about 10 times harder. He thought it made him, semi-super strong (as the ring was kinda jagged). His punches were so lame in reality that Andrew Horton compared it to a swat that wouldn't cause a newborn kitten to squeak.

    Our friends all refer to him as the saddest man who ever walked the face of the earth, and I genuinely have about 50 stories on him. Mono Turd and David O'Brien7 know who he is too.

    I know it's all so hard to believe. I sometimes still can't.
     
  9. dobrien7

    dobrien7 Guest

    Oh the meories, that man is the sole creator of so many wetting myself with laughter moments it's hard to actually remember them all.

    Has jokingly been mentioned we should write a book about him, then make a tv sitcom series based on the book...
     
  10. MonoTurd

    MonoTurd Guest

    Although ive never met this God while he was hanging with everyone, the stories ive heard and videos ive seen are enough to scar me for life lol
     
  11. The Flash

    The Flash Guest

    He was once eating a large roast meal with all the trimmings at an end of season cricket dinner, and the captain of the team burst out laughing.

    Muzz, who also has a stammer, said "Wwwwhhats sssso funny?"

    The Captain said, "It's just so ironic. A meal fit for a king.....being eaten by a fool!"

    The whole room erupted in laughter and he got up and left, so they all laughed harder.

    (It sounds mean, but he is a mean spirited fool himself so he deserved it)
     
  12. ..::ERIC::..

    ..::ERIC::.. Guest

    That does actually sound pretty cruel. I'm sure he doesn't try to be a moron.
     
  13. loratadine

    loratadine Guest

    hahaha i love it, his computer does all the thinking haha
     
  14. Goth Power

    Goth Power Guest

    Thats sick!

    I say give him a big, mahoosive slap round his big fat chavvy mush.

    Then maybe you should tie him up in a chair and shock him until his designer clothing burns away then see if it bothers him.
     
  15. ak47

    ak47 Guest

    i know this dude - he's 40-50 yrs old - has kids, family etc

    he is a good man

    then one day, at the pub we were talking about Borat

    i said Borat has done well for Kazak....he has single handedly put them on the world map.

    This dude jumps in the convo.......
    "What map....the map of fantasy land....kazak doesnt exist...its Borats country that he made up"

    We all looked in utter disbelief.......this guy runs a successful business, and thinks Kazakstan is a made up country from Borat

    we had to ram it into his brain cells, that Kazakstan is a proper country, and Borat meanwhile makes the country look stupid......yet is free tourism advertising for the country.

    "I dont believe it, i dont believe it" he continues........."no its not a country, its a made up fantasy land in borats world.......have u seen Ali G, the guy is a fruit cake...blah blah blah"

    We havent seen him since, but i heard he was trying to play Mr Know it all with his clients......these clients were heavy politician heads......he tries to start a convo about how Dick Cheny broke his leg, and quit...........

    the histeria continues.....i await the next chapter with massive anticipation
     
  16. Yeah there alot of thick people our there.

    For example, I was discussing holiday plans with friends and we mentioned Portugal. Then one girl I know said to me, "I don't want to sound stupid but, what country's Portugal in?"


    I slapped her.
     


  17. Only a comedy genius.
     
  18. this is too much for me...
     
  19. O'Rothlain

    O'Rothlain Guest

    At University we had a very sheltered individual come in during the second semester (the sort whos mother is still dressing him). I think he had been homeschooled his whole life, and this was his first time around people continuously (as we all lived in the dorm together). He was studying biology, and in paticular the human body. He opened the book to the section on the male genitalia which showed a side view picture disection (see diagram 1).
    [​IMG]
    After looking at this picture (see above) he commented, "This guy only has one ball?!" To which I replied, "Duh, everyone only has one ball." "Really?" he said in confused wonder. After a minute or two of discussion about how all males only have one testical, we noticed the sick look on his face. "Dude, what's wrong with you?" He then said, "Do you guys promise to keep a secret." "SUUUUUURE." "I have two balls." We convinced him he was going to be okay, but he left my room deeply disturbed. You'd think at this point one would call a medical professional or something. I started calling him Duece, and got everyone i knew (including girls) to call him that too. It went on for like two months. Finally we had to break the news to him that we all had two balls. But, the nickname stuck.
     
  20. ninjapirate

    ninjapirate Guest

    I believe the proper response would be a jumpkick.
     
  21. EVOL

    EVOL Guest

    A friend of mine was holding my 8 week old daughter last night and she made this ingenius remark, "she smells like baby"
     
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