Longest you've gone without a shower

[Big Ewis]

now, this is a Rugby forum, so you shy bishes out there don't tell me shiit like "oh, I've done a full day once, muh huh huuhh", I'm sure there are some Guinness World record setting semi-fermented pieces of men out there, foul-smelling beasts of the wilderness, absolute mythological creatures of filth and all things revolting.
I remember once, I was like 11, I didn't take a shower for a whole week. Seven days. Friends slept over for a few days, and I didn't give a shiit. They took showers, but not me. I remember I took a bath, and my brother came by to brush his teeth or wtvr and looked at the water and said it looked like Coca Cola. Fkng basterd...
Man, I must've been a pestiferous ball of parasites and diseases. I think at a point, unknowingly, I had that cloud of shiit smoke around me like that kid in Charley Brown, but like, in real life. They could've used me as a biological weapon probably...

And second part of the question:
we had a guy at school who always smelled like a mix between intense, concentrated sweat, and then, being serious here, actual feces. Like, the guy really smelled like shiit. Everybody was afraid of guarding him when we played basketball, because it was even worse as he broke a sweat of course. We'd just hand-check him from like a meter away lol. His hands were always, like, wet. Not humid, WET. What a fuccking pestiferous basterd...really nice guy though, but just 24-7 man, never gave it up.
You had that guy in your lives ?

 

[iINDOMINUSxx]

Big Ewis, hasn't had a shower since 1889

 

[Bluemoon]

My longest was probably at Reading festival 2007, where even a wet wipe wash couldn't cut it. I did have a 'Scottish Shower' as it's known in these parts, which is a brief squirt of deodorant in the morning, but that doesn't count.

 

[squirrel]

When I was a carny frequent weeks would go by without a shower, clothes wouldn't get washed too. As long as you wipe your backside and brush your teeth you shouldn't smell too bad apart from your knob and groin.

 

[Big Ewis]

Big Ewis, hasn't had a shower since 1889

Mmm, just like it says on the good brews. Can a human being...brew ? Staying away from all this contemporary rubbish, toothpaste and Pert Plus shampoo and what not, and remaining pure and unsoiled by the odd chemicals of our modern garbageland planet, perhaps a man can truly brew. Come to maturation if you will. Mmm, yes...the stench is not for anybody, and only the initiated nostril can truly savor the fine result of the process...

actually I'm currently on a 2-day streak, going on 3. Starting to smell like on a porn set (or what I'd imagine a porn set smells like after hours of live action) so I think I'm going to just...yeah, I'm going to have to take one.
I have a friend who willingly will avoid taking showers because he says it generates a manly smell that attracts women. He'll not take one for like , 2 or 3 days, sometimes more...

Wasn't aware of the "Scottish shower", but I've tried it a few times (naturally...). It tends to actually aggravate a situation, as the spontaneous bodily fluids blend with the antagonistic-acting new world synthetic flavors...just...oh, a world of horror. Very, very potent stuff...

Yes squirrel, the "package" area does tend to ferment quite rapidly...and since on this subject, what a strange reflex it is to reach down there with two or three fingers and rub firmly before moving the hand up hovered right under one's nose to take a deep, utterly focused sniff. It always seems to surprise me too, just how it stings the olfactory senses. Somewhat of a satisfaction...very strange. Very strange.

 

[dasNdanger]

A week. I have long hair so a week is about as long as I can stand before my hair looks like an oil slick. It usually only happens when I'm really sick, or really super busy. However, every morning regardless of when I shower I do wash the 'pits and bits', just to make sure I'm always spring fresh!

As a kid there was this guy in grade school - Eddie L. - who smelled like the kid you described. Not the sweaty underarm 'onion' pit smell, but that horrid, feculent aroma that makes you throw up a little in your mouth when you get downwind of him. He was a couple grades ahead of me so I didn't have to deal with the smell in the classroom, only in the hallways and on the playground.

My brother was a commercial fisherman, his boat staying at sea for 10-14 days. He said it was amazing what you learned about a person during those days. He said the guys who you'd think would be really dirty at sea were not, but the ones who while on land were always neat and tidy would smell like a sewer by trip's end.


das

 

[Big Ewis]

A week. I have long hair so a week is about as long as I can stand before my hair looks like an oil slick. It usually only happens when I'm really sick, or really super busy. However, every morning regardless of when I shower I do wash the 'pits and bits', just to make sure I'm always spring fresh!

As a kid there was this guy in grade school - Eddie L. - who smelled like the kid you described. Not the sweaty underarm 'onion' pit smell, but that horrid, feculent aroma that makes you throw up a little in your mouth when you get downwind of him. He was a couple grades ahead of me so I didn't have to deal with the smell in the classroom, only in the hallways and on the playground.

My brother was a commercial fisherman, his boat staying at sea for 10-14 days. He said it was amazing what you learned about a person during those days. He said the guys who you'd think would be really dirty at sea were not, but the ones who while on land were always neat and tidy would smell like a sewer by trip's end.


das

hmmmm, interesting...
and that bit about Eddie L. cracks me up. Something about awful smells makes me go crazy, it's just the funniest thing in the world. Chabal's reaction in that vid, my abs were hurting like hell after that.

My brother and I fancied offering weird experimental shiit to my parents' guests when they came over. Coz it's so mundane and middle class bourgeois and all, and then you offer them this weird reeking glass of shiit. He'd invented the Kro-Danao. It's a mix of Kronenbourg (the standard French beer here) and Danao (well known product here, milk with fruit juice). We never quite got to have someone taste that...

 

[dasNdanger]

He'd invented the Kro-Danao. It's a mix of Kronenbourg (the standard French beer here) and Danao (well known product here, milk with fruit juice). We never quite got to have someone taste that...

It couldn't be all that bad...could it? It doesn't sound much different from Guinness Punch (Guinness & condensed milk - a little spice if desired).


das

 

[ruggabee]

A week for me being on school camp. Did my best to hold my **** in too cos the toilet was an overused hole in the ground. Talking bout showers, there was an Indian guy who produced white liquid in his arm pits that really grossed us out.

 

[nickdnz]

A couple of years ago some mates and I tramped for 18 days in the Tararuas, trying it hit every hut (over 52 huts - didn't quite make it). Long days tramping with no showers during that period of time other than rain and rivers, no real change of clothes. Hot shower back was pretty sweet.

 

[iINDOMINUSxx]

i didn't shower for 2 weeks,

 

[Big Ewis]

It couldn't be all that bad...could it? It doesn't sound much different from Guinness Punch (Guinness & condensed milk - a little spice if desired).


das

we'll be glad to have you as our honorable guest in our prestigious home if you would come by some time.

A week for me being on school camp. Did my best to hold my **** in too cos the toilet was an overused hole in the ground. Talking bout showers, there was an Indian guy who produced white liquid in his arm pits that really grossed us out.

I don't mean to be insulting or anything, but that Indian guy...are you sure he wasn't a sea cucumber in stead by any chance ? I dunno, memory you know...

i didn't shower for 2 weeks,

nuh uh...you're just saying this to look cool.

 

[iINDOMINUSxx]

nuh uh...you're just saying this to look cool.

shhh

 

[ruggabee]

I don't mean to be insulting or anything, but that Indian guy...are you sure he wasn't a sea cucumber in stead by any chance ? I dunno, memory you know../

No way.. Unless he was growing sea cucumbers out of his armpits. It was bad like ugh i don't want to think about it. Creamy. Ahhhh. Like you say.. memory.. Maybe I jizzed on his armpit... Yeah sorry that's what happened.

 

[dasNdanger]

Firstly, this thread inspired me to take a shower.

Secondly, this thread reminded me of a story about my sister. We were country gals, and my sister was a real tomboy - a pony-riding, tree-climbing tomboy. Anyways, when she was 13 she was sitting in class, and she smelled something really bad. She sniffed to the left...she sniffed to the right...she sniffed in front of her...she sniffed behind her...and she just couldn't zero in on where the funk was coming from. Then she sniffed down...and WHHHEEEEWW! (NO, it's NOT what you think, you perverts!) The funk smell was coming from her very own cheesy bellybutton! Mom never had any trouble after that getting my sister to take showers.



das

 

[Big Ewis]

shhh

..owerrr..

No way.. Unless he was growing sea cucumbers out of his armpits. It was bad like ugh i don't want to think about it. Creamy. Ahhhh. Like you say.. memory.. Maybe I jizzed on his armpit... Yeah sorry that's what happened.

sea cucumber semen...it's got good musicality...and you see, if you think about it hard enough, you can accomplish anything. I think there's a saying like that, one of those cheesy, utterly unrealistic sayings...

Firstly, this thread inspired me to take a shower.

Secondly, this thread reminded me of a story about my sister. We were country gals, and my sister was a real tomboy - a pony-riding, tree-climbing tomboy. Anyways, when she was 13 she was sitting in class, and she smelled something really bad. She sniffed to the left...she sniffed to the right...she sniffed in front of her...she sniffed behind her...and she just couldn't zero in on where the funk was coming from. Then she sniffed down...and WHHHEEEEWW! (NO, it's NOT what you think, you perverts!) The funk smell was coming from her very own cheesy bellybutton! Mom never had any trouble after that getting my sister to take showers.



das

das, I'm seriously very tempted to neg rep you atm. And I must say I would've preferred it to be what us perverts thought it was...

 

[Tony Manx]

..das, I'm seriously very tempted to neg rep you atm. And I must say I would've preferred it to be what us perverts thought it was...

Yea I agree.............I cannot bear the smell of unwashed feet.

 

[Big Ewis]

Yea I agree.............I cannot bear the smell of unwashed feet.

are you...did you just dare imply that you don't ever eat any French cheese ?!!!!...*heavy breathing*

 

[Tony Manx]

are you...did you just dare imply that you don't ever eat any French cheese ?!!!!...*heavy breathing*

Certainly not....the smelly the better....nothing fishy about me!!

 

[Thingimubob]

Literally as soon as the thread ***le popped up, I instantly knew it was a Big Ewis thread