Put this on your fridge......it's on mine!

Discussion in 'The Clubhouse Bar' started by stevemagoo, Sep 4, 2007.

  1. stevemagoo

    stevemagoo Guest

    Dear women (and this does NOT include women who play the wonderful game)

    1. From 7 September to 20 October 2007, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.

    2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, the decoder and DVD are all mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).

    3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I won't have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.

    4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor....it won't happen.

    5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12pm and 3pm, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.

    6. Please, please, please!! If you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say 'get over it,
    it's only a game', or 'don't worry, they'll win next time'. If you say these things, you will only make me angrier
    and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about rugby than me and your so
    called 'words of encouragement' will only lead to a break up or divorce.

    7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only
    when the commercials are on, and only if the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am
    saying 'one' game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to 'spend time together'.

    8. The replays of the tries are very important. I don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want
    to see them again. Many times, and record them.

    9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires
    my attendance because:
    a) I will not go,
    B) I will not go, and
    c) I will not go.

    10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.

    11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves.
    Do not even think about saying 'but you have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to something
    we can all watch??', the reply will be: 'Refer to Rule #2 of this list'.

    12. Please save your expressions such as 'Thank goodness the World Cup is only every 4 years'. I am immune
    to these words, because after this comes the reruns of the Rugby World Cup, etc etc.

    13. And finally, if you are female and your "man" likes rugby less than you, he is not a real man and shall
    be bound by these rules and additionally be referred to as "the bitch" for the duration of the World Cup
    Thank you for your cooperation
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  3. melon

    melon Guest

    Haha very nice! I like it!
  4. geralddge

    geralddge Guest

    nice one... :cheers:
  5. Jimellow

    Jimellow Guest

    Good stuff. It must be nice to have the Rugy World Cup on television... :)
  6. Laetca

    Laetca Guest

    I think something similar gets put in the news paper here every time there's a soccer world cup (or even European Cup)
    Not much has been changed in this one me thinks :p

    Funniest thing you'll ever read is articles meant for women saying 'what to do while my husband/boyfriend' is sitting in front of the television again.
    • Catch up with your friends, they all have blokes sitting in front of the television set too so, make the best of it.
    • Clean out your wardrobe, leaving numerous items of clothing lying on the floor/bed/chair/... He won't notice, so now is the best time. Same goes for painting random rooms in random different colours. Not to be tried on whatever room it is the hubbie's watching the game in though.
    • Try out new recipes. even if they go horribly wrong, you'll have someone who will eat it, since he won't be noticing what he's eating in the first place. Also a great time to try and teach him to eat asparagus/sprouts/ other icky vegetables
  7. feicarsinn

    feicarsinn Guest

    stolen straight from the forums at scrum.com
  8. stevemagoo

    stevemagoo Guest

    Nope - Wife sent them to me in a mail - she knows her role for the WC
  9. shtove

    shtove Guest

    Perched inside the fridge, handing out cans of beer whenever the door opens.
  10. Axe

    Axe Guest

    Emailed to the gf so she can catch up on the rules at work - will put a copy on the fridge and near the ironing board so she can keep up to date on a daily basis ;-)
  11. Laetca

    Laetca Guest

    Must remember to keep any instructions for boyfriend close to tools, just fridge might be missed ^o)

    Great idea Axe, it's like sticking messages on the TV when you want someone (my cousins do this with my aunt) to see it.
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