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Ebert & CHIRoeper...Your Essential Movie Reviews

  • Thread starter THE CHIROPRACTOR101
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sup **** heads..this forum sux balls with out me but i guess you homos like that ay???...dont ya???...AYY???...ya broke back mountain mwah fockerz!!!..anywho ill cap things off with some movie reviews coz back in auckland..my village shows da meanest movies...yeh da village at st lukes movie theaters hahahaha(inside joke people...so dont laugh!)

ill be updating this topic with a movie ive seen...cud be a new film,cud be old..cud be a porno or it cud be rassie rooting michael jackson on rassies own neverland ranch in south afri'cant...

lets cap it off with...drum roll...air guitar....piano keys smashing....big loud CRASH!!!!...


directing by oliver stone..starring nicholas cage and a host of hispanics who you'd prolly see on sum b grade gangsta movie starring as the usual role of a latino as a drug dealer or a vatos loco...anywho..to be honest i only saw this movie coz it was 4 free...but after watching it i thought it was worthy of my time as you all know...time is my precious and i spend alotta of it getting drunk...so this movie cut into sum serious meet and greet times with jim beam and jack daniels...but alas was an average flick...if you wanting to see a full fledged onslaught of flashing bull **** graphics that show how tha towers were dismantled than this is the wrong movie..actually they dont show the towers gettin wasted at all by tha planes...which is great..maybe a respect thing to not digitilise and remake tha disaster...which draws away from ya typical blockbuster remake of historical events (***anic,pearl harbour,king kong etc..) maybe coz its more recent..i give it 20years before they do an over dramatized version of it...the cool thing about this is that..well lemme explain i was expectin ya typical american super hero dadad duh theme...but in actual fact it centres around a squad of police officers who go into the buildingz b4 tha collapse to rescue citizens..which is great..it has a story..none of this foreigners are super evil coz they dont have an american accent bullshit i always see...and dats another thing..i wus expectin tha ol "muslims are bad people..they are evil coz they wear turbans...and cloths made of the finest silk"..i wus expectin alotta blame on da muslimz...but the focus of the film is drawn away from all the political drama and centralizes itself onto the bond between the main characters and what gets them by while trapped in the rubble of the trade center...gudstuff no underlying themes that muslims are bad...and we must kill them coz Jesus sed..na uh...its clean and straight to tha point...da acting is aight i guess...i mean **** tha trade centers jus got blasted and nicholas cage is just standin there raising his eye brows like sumone jackd him in da ass..wheres da urgency!??!..(well maybe u wud show it if sum one jackd u in da ass but cmon actors..do ya job and act...)..tha characters are very strong tho and there portrayal of the officers once trapped in tha trade centre brings tha movie to life...the whole collapse of the trade centers is very intense and quite a mind bobbling experience..very scary to watch and to actually know that this happened...the story follows the the officers stuck under the rubble and they keep active by talkin about the more important things in life to them...family...and the flik goez back in forth between the officers and there actual families and how they put up with not knowin the health of there luvd ones in the trade center...dialogue in the film is very strong,you'll come across the cliched cheezy lines..."i wont leave...because im a marine"...great..i mite leave tha film if ya keepin talkin dat cheesy ****...but yeh..comes off as ya cliched film in general..has moments where actual footage of news reports are shown and shots of the before and aftermath of da event..and the cinematography at times is beautiful...not to say that the diasater was beautiful but tha shot selection and the camera angles of new york city during the event is captavating...da climax to tha film is predictable...we all know wat happend afta...but yeh dats my two cents


PROS ~ lovely film art,cinematography wise...solid story line
doesnt stray into "hate islam or any who oppose america" theme
and keeps a cool focus on the characters...very character driven
in a disasterous event which strays away from ya typical hollywood
block buster

CONS ~ predictable..bland in sum cases..and blunt acting at times..

overall...not expecting anything spectacular and i didnt recieve it but it does make you think back to that tragic event..i love tha fact it doesnt stray into tha typical hollywood super block buster and rather keeps a realistic and more dramatical approach and how families of that tragedy dealt with that miserable process of hearing news of there luv'd ones...i give it a 5/10...wait for it on dvd fellaz..gud rainy day flick or one to watch in social studiez or history class at skool...

till next time ya homoz

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