Legendary Hedges

Discussion in 'The Clubhouse Bar' started by captainamerica, Nov 12, 2005.

  1. kaftka

    kaftka Guest

    Quite a coincidence really...While you lot were out, I was actually back at the house examining Mrs. America's bush...

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  3. Its a family tradition of the americans to trim there familys bushes. heres one of captians brother-in-law bruce(in foreground) and his brother-in-law terrance jackson and his son micheal.

    and a picture of terrance trying to get with captains wife again... oh when will he learn?
  4. and welcome to another thrilling episode of "guess that famous hedge" where we show you a picture of a historically significant hedge, and it is up to you to guess what is important about it.

    heres our first hedge of the night. this one is from the outskirts of LA
    Now belive it or not, but this man is re-creating the failed excape route used by 2pac as he tried to evade the attack of rival gangs in the early 90's. The man you see is one "Robert Van Winkle" who later became knowen as "vinilla ice" and is currently producing a docomenturay of his life, including his time with 2pac

    or second pic comes from the Home of rock and roll, graceland.
    2 weeks before the king died, this is the very hedge that Elvis Presly fell on, while eating a hot dog. unfortunatly for the king, his family and millions of his fans, the bite of hotdog that was in his mouth was swallowd only half chewed as he landed, and blocked up his intestines which, a little knowen fact, is what actually killed him.

    Here we see two brittish presenters at a table in liverpool
    On the way to the beetles next concert in dublin ireland, this table was used as john lennons last breakfast. it is noted in the documentation of his death, that the IRA was not happy about lennons music, as it inspired pro-england veiws from the irish public, and supposidly as few as 5 rows of hedges to the east of this table, 2 members of the IRA, posed as paparazzi were photographing lennon, as conformation of his whereabouts. these photos were later sold to time magazine for a estimated $10,000,000, and was used by the IRA for money to buy potatoes.

    I hope you have all enjoyed your time here at "guess the famous hedges" and if you got all three correct, well done to you, or else better luck next time.
    Thats all for this eveing, thats homes hedges tonight.
  5. sambo numba 5, you're alive to me again. thank you for the hedges.

    Lora, you've been added to the list o' swill that is Karfka, Rubber, and Erica -- more than one post and no hedges.

    You limp Welsh-Kiwi's ralphing your sliced kak all over my sweet hedge thread.


    You're punishment?

    To be Beadle'd.









    Remember, kids, hedges get all the trim...
  6. come on, just admit it. you live to spend time with me and look at my bush
  7. I visited my uni today, just to have a look around, since im attending it next year, and i was pleased on what i found. i was having a look at the local rugby feild, and on the way there, i saw a trimmed hedge, and in the local universitys colours, green and pink.

    on the way back to the hall, i found this beauty.
    theres nothing like the taste of the sweet necter from the pink hidden in the bush. i was very pleased with that hedge.

    the lady in the photo however, was very nice to be around. but then i found out that she had been in a few to many hedges. she'd been in so many hedges, she you might even say shes a...

  8. getofmeland

    getofmeland Guest

    Wow What a Thread....

    it needs to be bumped
  9. the historically seedy hedges of los angeles

    it’s not always raisins and ear wax, folks.

    sometimes, a hedge has to slum it before greatness is thrust into it like dry spaghetti into a sensitive orifice.

    why, just looka heeeere atta all diiiiiiiiiiiis boulesheet:


    HEDGE: eva baumgarden
    CLAIM: first female hedge in space

    before escalating to the lusty heights of space, this big-faced hedge pole-danced on the sunset strip for about 2 years.

    originally from a small yard in frog slap, alabama, she was initially set for a life beside a gas station until a brief moment on acid prompted her to become an astrohedge. in hollywood.

    deep into her 2nd year, on stage and with coke residue dripping off her twigs, a chance lap dance with the head of nasa changed everything.

    ledgend has it she never charged him, but he still gave her a tip.
    ---------- ---------- ---------- ----------


    HEDGE: gus stratten
    CLAIM: discovered the cure for cancer (but just for cancer in hedges)

    homeless, leafless, and constantly crapping himself, gus trumped along the stained pavement of santa monica blvd for 12 years before all his doctoricious schooling finally synergized into one great moment of hedge-medical clarity.

    but before that moment arrived, every morning (for a crust of bread and a cup of backwash) he’d help the trannies tape up their “secretsâ€
    ---------- ---------- ---------- ----------


    HEDGE: mavis duckawful
    CLAIM: queen of hedge porn

    before she became the mavis we all know and love, this precious, precious kitten of a hedge, led a horrid life in the o.c.

    the facts wallow in a potential text-book case of tragedy: bright student, popular among peers, and an incredibly positive outlook towards life – had all this continued who knows where she’d be today?

    luckily for us, at an all girl sleepover, best friend and champion hedgemanatarian, betsy jury, introduced our mavis to gin and internet porn. thank god.
  10. getofmeland

    getofmeland Guest

    Wow the Captain Returns and What a Come Back....
  11. wigan_rlfc

    wigan_rlfc Guest

    Captain America :D

    f***in hell!
  12. O'Rothlain

    O'Rothlain Guest

    Legendary Hedge.

    f*** YEAH!
  14. melon

    melon Guest

    Capt. America hasn't been around the traps for a while!

    Ahhh well here's my contribution
  15. Rugby_Cymru

    Rugby_Cymru Guest


    I'm too much of a newbie to understand this and it looks far too surreal for me to even venture the previous pages.
  16. This is probably the greatest single thread ever to grace TRF.

    You have to read it from the first page, but even then you have to bare in mind that captainamerica is a comedy genius. And those type of people have to explain themselves to no one.

    I can't even remember why this was started to be honest, but it really is the pinacle of the Off Topic section.
  17. [​IMG]

    movie hedge. great movie at that.
  18. [​IMG]

    If you marry the hedge behind him you get peter cundall aswell complete with sexy accent. :p
  19. believe me when i say that anyone can have sex with a hedge.

    male or female? gay or straight? it just doesn't matter.
    hedges will spread their leaves for anything.

    spring has sprung, and undoubtedly many of you are feeling the magical stirrings of mother nature course through your bodies stronger than that already opened, week-old can of lager you found in the fridge and necked down at 8am this fine thursday morning.

    well, this quick and easy guide will get you a sack full of clippings in no time fast.

    makin' hedge
    by captainamerica

    the story is as old as time:
    you're out and about when you come across a wanton hedge lusting after you.

    "hello sailor!"

    you stumble through an awkward conversation long enough to get their phone number.

    chapter 1 – start slow.
    wait at least until nightfall before engaging in dirty texts.

    "photosynthesis to pleasure bush"
    text speak killed the love letter. u impatient kids shovin' ur nife into shivalry.

    chapter 2 – it's all green on the inside.

    get to know your hedge. explore. enjoy.

    tickle, tickle


    texas hold 'em. all in.

    accidents are all a part of the fun. embrace change.

    chapter 3 – up the twig

    the gestation period for hedges is a solid 45 minutes after sap has been exchanged.
    it's a pretty cool experience to witness, and i recommend sitting back, putting on "dark side of the moon" and just watching it all unfold.

    "if you hear this whisper, you're dying"

    chapter 4 – your offspring and you

    the birth of a new hedge is a special thing in that the child, more often than not, resembles the non-hedge partner. sometimes the likeness can be uncanny.

    here's one brian moore made earlier today

    chapter 5 – inter-species hedging

    naturally, the english have a long and storied history of curious hedge coupling.

    "there is a passion for hedging something deeply implanted in the human breast." – charles dickens

    and of course, these dalliances are not without their repercussions.

    after willy got freed.

    actually, this is one of joe merrick's.

    chapter 6 – final thoughts.

    after all these years of raping nature, it feels good to give back to the earth.

    we are all whores

    and in the end, the love you take, is equal to the hedge you make.
  20. HAHAHAHA, CaptainAmerica is back!

  21. getofmeland

    getofmeland Guest

    Got to Love those hedges... wow thats some seriously x rated stuff there...

    Mmmm I am gonna go find myself a Fagus Sylvatica

    See ya later Captain, and happy fencing ;)
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