Things that you wouldn't hear..

Discussion in 'The Clubhouse Bar' started by Fa'atau82, Sep 19, 2008.

  1. Fa'atau82

    Fa'atau82 Guest

    This works like the 'scenes you'd like to see' or 'things you wouldn't hear..' from Mock the Week (a UK tv comedy show).


    Scenes they cut from.. from Star Wars

    - Luke.. i am your mother..
    - These are not the illegal immigrants you are looking for..


    Things that you wouldn't hear.. in a nature documentary

    - And here, we see the male and the female tigers mating.. and i.. have just cum in my pants.
    - In this previously unexplored jungle area of asia, we have stumbled across 5 new species of ape type creature, possibly my in-laws..

    You can choose your own topic.. just make it funny.
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  3. Charles

    Charles Guest

  4. Fa'atau82

    Fa'atau82 Guest

    I'll start..

    Things you wouldn't hear from.. the media..

    - And here today, we are pleased to witness the turning on of the large hardon collider.
    - And what a deserved win by England today, winning 1-0 against San Marino with a goal deflected off Michael Owen's backside.

    Dropped titles for bond films..

    - Live and let wind
    - Moonfinger
    - Quantum of Solero
    - Quantum of Soreass
    - On her majesty's secret escort service
    - Japseye
  5. candybum

    candybum Guest

    Things you wouldn't want to hear from your parents: are adopted :(
  6. Fa'atau82

    Fa'atau82 Guest

    Things you wouldn't see in the Rugby World Cup..

    - So here we are, after a gruelling tournament, it's gonna be Namibia or Uruguay becoming the new world champions..
    - And the All Blacks are the new world champions..
  7. alexrugby

    alexrugby Guest

    I don't like when hear person asking another: Honey Are You OK!?? and the asked one is in such condition:

  8. Thingimubob

    Thingimubob Guest

    Things you would hear from.... your Religious Education/Religious Studies teacher...

    ''If you fail this course, you're all Racists''
    (My R.E. teacher DID say that...)
  9. alexrugby

    alexrugby Guest

    And how did you react?

    You know, I had always been against religious abuse, and now I am.

    This makes people to hate religion (even more or at all)

    Religious movies are also somehow discomforting to watch

    This is some kind of Religious abuse :(


  10. Sir Speedy

    Sir Speedy Guest

    <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Thingimubob @ Sep 19 2008, 03:22 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div>
    :lol: Remind me of what my R.E. teacher said when someone asked him what the point of studying R.E. was:

    "To stop you from becoming terrorists."
  11. alexrugby

    alexrugby Guest

    Oh Bush will like him (or her) as antiterrorist campaigns are his best :p

    They will understand each other

  12. shtove

    shtove Guest

    You would never hear a hedge fund manager criticise the central bank as if it were made up of a bunch of fools, would you?

    "He's nuts. They're nuts. They know nothing ... We have Armagedon!"

    This is a notorious live TV blow up, and the guy is a bullshitter. But he was right about the Armageddon bit - 13 months ago.
  13. alexrugby

    alexrugby Guest

    Hey shtove, nice to see you with traditional humor

    I also dislike when girl tells you she is virgin and Is not ready for SEX

    Hate Hate Hate Hate

    I will never forget that night and that sexy girl who acted on my sex offer like this

  14. Gay-Guy

    Gay-Guy Guest

    <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (LeksoRugby @ Sep 20 2008, 07:56 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div>
    Of course she would act like that you big boy you....
  15. alexrugby

    alexrugby Guest

    Aaaah, Hello GG how are you

    Really you are right :cheers:

    NOTICE: Say No TO Pedophylia :D :D :D ;)

    I am healthy male MULE :D :D :D :D :D :D

    Hope no Police will get me this night :cheers: :cheers:

    Cheers bro

  16. Haysie

    Haysie Guest

    WHAT? Bloody hell Lekso, the language barrier is a fantastic thing isn't it haha...

    Things you would never hear Dubya say :
    My dedicated joint staff and myself have devised a well-constructed and thought-out invasion plan with a fool-proof exit strategy :D
  17. Fa'atau82

    Fa'atau82 Guest

    Things you wouldn't hear Max Guazzini (Stade Francais owner) say..

    - I hate pink. It's a girls colour. Next year, we won't be having sequins.
    - I think i'll turn down that shirt sponsor deal from always ultra. I think we will go for Harley Davidson instead.
    - I don't think theres anything wrong with the changes to the new kit. What's odd about bare ass chaps?
    - Sorry lads, we are not going to spearmint rhino now after the quins game, we are having a nice cup of tea instead.

    Things Niko Palamo might have said in the recent halftime talk for Samoa vs All Blacks..

    - Remember, pass the ball down the line. The props on the wings are not getting enough service.
    - Boys.. remember to scrum properly. Crouch, touch, pause, engage. Not, slouch, touch, pause, flounce.
    - Backs.. you are fast and talented runners.. run like your mother is going to beat you.
    - You are playing **** and you know it. Now, go suck the halftime breadfruit and grow some b*llocks.
  18. crookedson

    crookedson Guest

    Something You wouldn't hear Gavin Henson say:

    I took a long and hard look at myself and realized something, Looks aren't everything. I'm gonna put down the hair product, pick up the ball and stop living off past glory.
  19. alexrugby

    alexrugby Guest

  20. crookedson

    crookedson Guest

    <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (LeksoRugby @ Sep 19 2008, 11:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div>
    lol you crack me up Lekso

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  21. Sir Speedy

    Sir Speedy Guest

    <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (crookedi @ Sep 21 2008, 01:27 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div>
    Missed the 6N then, did we?
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