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Best place you've ever taken a $hlt

Big Ewis

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Oct 10, 2011
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This is a little bit surrealistic but besides regular outdoor shiittaking, there was this one time my friend and I went to the beach here, in Antibes, but we fkng hate ppl and hassles and stuff so we went at the end of the beach where it's not sandy but rocky: huge rocks and you jump into the sea from there. Anyways, we're checking out some topless female human beings of a young age when I feel I've an important organic calling to attend, and no it wasn't an erection. It was a shiit, just right there yelling for attention from the balconies of my asshole, waiting to be dropped like a shiit. So we're on these rocks, elevated, and I find a space betw. like 3 huge rocks, which sort of formed a tiny room. Sure enough, just the right size to accommodate a svelte yet mentally unstable individual like myself. So I walk down there, almost like stairs. Getting closer to water level, making sure there are no crabs or anything. Nope, no noise, not even wet, no creatures, nothing. Just this pure little piece of paradise, just like in the movies. My mind went all relaxed, I felt 'in public' but still very cozy and intimate. Didn't feel rushed at all, fuuuuuk it !, in fact I could've orchestrated a fecal symphony in there so to speak, and with ease. No rush.
So I just pull my shorts down, had my trusty paper napkins from my backpack prior. And in this personal little Heaven I'd found, with clear colored surroundings, the presence of light but still secluded and private, I take mah shiit man. It was a nice big shiit too, had been to McDonald's prior a couple of times in a row. Really great, great feeling. Could be noisy as I wished, and sure enough, noisy as I wished I was. It didn't take a minute: a couple of good pushes, the two shiits obedient soldiers, no whining or questions asked, just came out nice and easy. A good feeling, that. So I wipe my asshole and get back up, a big almost eerie smile on my face still in activity. Go up to join my friend, who had been taking pictures of me, the fkr (which he later posted on FB, back when FB wasn't all serious), and then he kind of spoiled it for me because he all of a sudden notices there's a good little chunk of shiit on my little finger. That kind of brought me back to reality, the rough tribulations of the daily, sober life...alas.

Surely your puny efforts to tell tales of tails coming up and shiit going down won't impress me, very protagonist of this most epic adventure which I bestow upon your delighted eyes...but hey, give me your best shiit errr shot.. Surely you've shat in interesting places; why, how could you've not in years of living ?!
How about this one:


When I was there it was misty so I didn't get the nice view.
This still makes me laugh my ass off today, although it probably shouldn't...but a friend of mine when we were teens took a shhit in the Burger King children's slide (it was indoors), fuccking brilliant operation, smooth as a chocolate smoothie. The operation that is. He took it in the middle of the slide at an angle where when you're on top you don't see what's ahead because of that angle bend towards the middle. No no, planned it judiciously, perfect timing, I'm tellin' you...just James Bond material. Some fat kid must have gone head first into it, and yes, that thought makes me more than giggle...I'd say 'sadly', but laughing is quite the opposite of sad. At least that's how it's usually regarded.

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