More Chabal facts..
Occasionally, Chabal gets caught wanting for a p*ss in public. We call these places 'Lakes'.
Occasionally, Chabal gets caught wanting for a sh*t in public. We call these places Detroit and London.
A long time ago Chabal went for a quick swim in the sea. We call this sea today, the Dead Sea.
Chabal once got hit by lightning twice and the lightning came off second best. Twice. Since then lightning vowed never to strike a human twice, in case he knows Chabal.
Chabal is the reason why Wally has gone into a witness protection program after he ate his dog as a snack.
Chabal often uses Crocodile Dundee's knife as a toothpick.
Dogs sometimes chew animal bones. Chabal chews the bones of dinosaurs.
The Loch Ness Monster is not a myth. Or at least it wasn't until Chabal fancied wet fish for dinner whilst in Scotland.
In Polynesian history, Easter Island is famous for it's Moai statues. This was after Chabal visited the island and made all the women pregnant and the offspring were the Moai. The reason why they all stand on the island perimeter is because they all went to see their father off as he backstroked off into the pacific ocean. They have been waiting for his return ever since.
In Welsh mythology, Dragons are said to exist. They are huge sized winged fire-breathing creatures. They have since disappeared a long time ago. This co-incided with the opening of CFD (Chabal Fried Dragon) where menu items included Giant BBQ Ribs, Hot Dragon Fillet Burger and Giant Hot Wings.
Humans often like to sunbath to try get a nice tan. Chabal likes to sit under the ignition of a space shuttle.
Chabal once ate a whole cake before his acolytes could tell him there was a stripper in it.
Chabal grinds his coffee beans with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
Most people fear the Devil. Chabal considers him 'a promising rookie'.
When there is a poleshift, Chabal is simply not going abroad this year for his holiday, the tropics are coming to him.
When Chabal takes a quick shower, he dives off a 200ft cliff into the ocean. When Chabal wants a bath, he jumps out of a plane from 22,000ft and bellyflops into the ocean.
When Chabal fancies surf and turf, he simply waits for a bear to catch the fish from the river, then beats the bear to death with the fish.
Chabal keeps his teeth in good condition. He uses a stiff metal brush and hardcore concrete for toothpaste and then gargles liquid nitrogen for mouthwash.
Chabal chews chewing gum. Wrigley's made him his own spearmint gum with a liquid napalm centre.
When Chabal was a child he used to sell his own special homemade lemonade. However it was not very popular due to fact that it was the juice of 100 lemons mixed with sulphiric acid.
When Chabal has a headache, he takes a 200mg pill of caesium.
When Chabal played the recent tests in NZ, he felt he should try the famous NZ lamb. So he went into a field, sucked all the flesh off a sheep and then gave the wool he coughed up to a local orphanage.
Quintillions of years ago some SE-82 (Isotope of Selenium) arrived on Earth from a meteor. It has half-life of 130,000,000,000,000,000,000 years, which means it is radioactive for 260,000,000,000,000,000,000 years. Chabal celebrated the 5th anniversary of when he saw the meteor arrive. Yesterday.
Chabal's hair cannot be cut with scissors. The hair must be soaked in liquid nitrogen overnight and then cut with a diamond-tipped samurai sword.
Eating a chunk of blue Kryptonite gives Chabal a massive hard-on.
The oceans of the world taste of salt because of Chabal. He once fcuked a blue whale and pulled out.
Chabal oftens goes to Guantanamo Bay as an inmate for a quiet and relaxing vacation.
God, on the first day made Adam and Eve from clay. On the 2nd day God made other humans like Chiro from the softest shitt*est sh*t. On the 3rd day Chabal was made from concrete mixed with magma, Corundum and Osmium. God wanted to use raw diamonds, but Chabal doesn't like bling.
Chabal is the original caveman. He discovered the wheel when he was rolling 10 ton square slabs of rock across Europe to build stonehenge and found that they had become circular. He also discovered fire when cracked a T-Rex's head against a flint rock face.
The Pyramids at Giza were made by Chabal. This was after some Egyptians asked Chabal if he could make a wigwam, but because Chabal could not find enough animal skins and trees, he used several thousands of chunks of rock. That he cut with his teeth.
