Joke thread

[kinkon89]

rofl^^^^^^^

 

[kinkon89]

i got one..........

a journalist goes to a village in the south pacific and interviews the chief of the village...he wants to ask him 3 questions so:

1. "when was your happiest time of your life?"....the chief answers"hmmm my goat got lost so we grab the village men and go find it in the forest and f**ck it and bring it back to the village"

the journalist says "no! i cant write that" so the journalist decides to ask another question.

2."whats your other happiest time of your life?"....the chief answers"hmmm my daughter got lost so we grab the village men and go find her in the forest and f**ck her and bring it back to the village"

the journalist says again "no! i cant write that" so the journalist decides to ask one more question.

3."whats your saddest time of your life?".....the chief answers"hmmm i got lost......................................."

 

[..::ERIC::..]

How many dirty stinking filthy apes does it take to change a lightbulb?

Three. One dirty stinking filthy ape to change it, and two dirty stinking filthy apes to throw feces at each other.

 

[ninjapirate]

Originally posted by wigan_rlfc@Apr 2 2005, 05:44 AM
There is an Englishman, a Scotish man, a German and a Jew on a small plane. All of a sudden the captain says "We have lost all engine power, there are only 2 parachutes on board, one for me and a spare one". The pilot then jumps out and opens his parachute. The Scotsman turns to the rest and says "How are we going to sort this one out?". A wave of national pride comes over the Englishman and he says "for what I do now I do for my country" he then leaps out of the plain and falls to his death. The Scotsman thinks "eh, thats brave" so he says, "For what I do now I do for my country" he then leaps out of the plane to his death. The German then stands up and says "For Vat I do now I do for mein Country" He then throws the Jew out of the plane and takes the parachute for himself.

you, sir, are a *******.

 

[sambãd5]

Originally posted by kinkon89@Apr 3 2005, 12:05 AM
i got one..........

a journalist goes to a village in the south pacific and interviews the chief of the village...he wants to ask him 3 questions so:

1. "when was your happiest time of your life?"....the chief answers"hmmm my goat got lost so we grab the village men and go find it in the forest and f**ck it and bring it back to the village"

the journalist says "no! i cant write that" so the journalist decides to ask another question.

2."whats your other happiest time of your life?"....the chief answers"hmmm my daughter got lost so we grab the village men and go find her in the forest and f**ck her and bring it back to the village"

the journalist says again "no! i cant write that" so the journalist decides to ask one more question.

3."whats your saddest time of your life?".....the chief answers"hmmm i got lost......................................."

lol when i read the 1st question i was like na ive herd this on a kevin bloody wilson cd, and then when i read the last one, it was diffrent and i fell of my chair...

 

[wigan_rlfc]

Originally posted by ninjapirate+Apr 3 2005, 06:18 AM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (ninjapirate @ Apr 3 2005, 06:18 AM)</div>

<!--QuoteBegin-wigan_rlfc

@Apr 2 2005, 05:44 AM
There is an Englishman, a Scotish man, a German and a Jew on a small plane.  All of a sudden the captain says "We have lost all engine power, there are only 2 parachutes on board, one for me and a spare one".  The pilot then jumps out and opens his parachute.  The Scotsman turns to the rest and says "How are we going to sort this one out?".  A wave of national pride comes over the Englishman and he says "for what I do now I do for my country" he then leaps out of the plain and falls to his death.  The Scotsman thinks "eh, thats brave" so he says, "For what I do now I do for my country" he then leaps out of the plane to his death.  The German then stands up and says "For Vat I do now I do for mein Country"  He then throws the Jew out of the plane and takes the parachute for himself.

you, sir, are a *******. [/b]

That isn't true.

 

[el_tk]

What's silver and sits at the end of your bed taking the **** out of you?

A dialysis machine.

 

[gjohn85]

A boy goes to the drug store with his dad and sees the condom display.
Boy: "Dad, why do they do packs of one condom?"

Dad: "Those are for the high-schoolers for Friday nights."

Boy: "So, why do they make packs of three?"

Dad: "For the college guys for Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights."

Boy: "Then why do they make packs of 12?"

Dad: "Those are for married couples -- you know, January, February, March."

 

[woodie]

Originally posted by el_tk@Apr 3 2005, 12:38 PM
What's silver and sits at the end of your bed taking the **** out of you?

A dialysis machine.

doesnt make sense. dialysis takes blood from your arm!

 

[wigan_rlfc]

Originally posted by woodie+Apr 5 2005, 09:32 PM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (woodie @ Apr 5 2005, 09:32 PM)</div>

<!--QuoteBegin-el_tk

@Apr 3 2005, 12:38 PM
What's silver and sits at the end of your bed taking the **** out of you?

A dialysis machine.

doesnt make sense. dialysis takes blood from your arm! [/b]

Could be that **** is derived from blood????

 

[SaintsFan_Webby]

Originally posted by woodie+Apr 5 2005, 09:32 PM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (woodie @ Apr 5 2005, 09:32 PM)</div>

<!--QuoteBegin-el_tk

@Apr 3 2005, 12:38 PM
What's silver and sits at the end of your bed taking the **** out of you?

A dialysis machine.

doesnt make sense. dialysis takes blood from your arm! [/b]

Yes, but the point is that it's taking out waste from your body, the job the kidneys would usually do. I think that joke is now very dead

 

[THE CHIROPRACTOR101]

....these jokes are dry

 

[kinkon89]

they're Northern Hemisphere jokes............lol

 

[SaintsFan_Webby]

You have to be a cynical ******* to get by in this part of the world

 

[ninjapirate]

Originally posted by kinkon89@Apr 6 2005, 06:58 AM
they're Northern Hemisphere jokes............lol

i'll northern hemisphere your joke.... *grumbles*

 

[Canadian_Rugby_Guy]

Well then. let's hear some SH humour and then we shall pass judgement.

 

[ninjapirate]

oh no, im an american, i was just being disagreable

 

[kaftka]

I'm not racist, I love blacks. I think every family should own one.

 

[Black|Raven]

...

wait!......i am black!

LOW BLO

 

[Black|Raven]

A woman walks into the doctor’s office and says, “Doctor I hurt all over.â€

“That’s impossible,†the doctor replies.

“No really! Just look, when I touch my arm, Ouch! it hurts. When I touch my leg, Ouch! it hurts. When I touch my head, Ouch! it hurts. When I touch my chest, Ouch!! it really hurts.†she says.

The doctor shakes his head and says, “You’re a natural blonde, aren’t you?â€

The woman smiles and says, “Why, yes I am. How did you know?â€

The doctor replies, “Because you finger is broken.â€