Pinched this idea from a football game forum i modded on till we got skint.... Post your jokes here! I'll start: Police arrested two boys today. One was drinking battery acid and the other eating fireworks. The police charged one and let the other one off. A scotsmand and his daughter are driving along a country lane one afternoon when they feel a thump. The daughter turns to her dad and asks ' daddy, what was that?' The scotsman replies 'it was a fox, it ran out right in front of me, i couldnt miss it sorry'. So they're driving along the road and there's another thump on the car. The daughter asks again what the thump was, and this time the father tells her that it was a dog, and that he couldn't miss it. They're driving along and there's two thumps. The daughter asks 'what was that?' and her dad replies 'it was an englishman, i couldn't avoid him' and the daughter asks why there were two thumps. He dad replies 'I had to mount the kerb to hit the b*astard'. What's the difference between a scouser and batman? Batman can go out at night without robin. hohohoho, i crack myself up i do!