5 reasons why Australia sucks

[The_Wol]

Reason 1: Robbie Deans.

To be perfectly honest when Robzilla first came onto the scene for Australia he did some great things, it took him less than a season to change Quade Coopers ridiculous hairstyle to something alot more sensible. He paved the way for David Pocock to become one of the best opensides in the world by giving him more game time, he selected strong teams based on form. However lately Dingo has picked his teams based on his personal fave's rather than the in form players i.e. Drew Mitchell over Dom Shipperley, it took Mitchell doing his yearly party trick of snapping his hamstring to get Dom a look in.

Reason 2: Players.

Pat McCabe being played at center, Rob Horne existing, Berrick Barnes not having his kicking licence revoked and Nick Phipps in general. These are all problems Robbie the Reindeer needs to address, look at Patrick McCabe, the man is a giant, he runs hard, makes meters is an amazing player, his only weaknesses are he runs straight and he has the passing game of a double hand amputee, put the man at full back or wing... Rob Horne, yes okay he's an alright fella, he's not bad.... he's just not... anything really. (Don't get me started on Dave "The Ghost" Dennis) Berrick Barnes... yes I hate him we all know this, he kicks to much end of story... then we come to Nick "What is going on" Phipps... seriously Nicky boy is probably the 48th choice Halfback in Australia, he constantly looks like he has no idea what's happening or what sport he is playing, I'd have picked Richard Kingi or Matt Dunning before him.

Reason 3: The team is a mob of babies.

Never in my life have I seen a bigger mob of girls playing for our national team (In fact real girls would probably be tougher than these guys). They are all sooks, once the going gets tough they give up i.e. any time we've played New Zealand. Bring back the men of old, who took hits like boxers and dished them out like it was going out of style.

Reason 4: Everyone is better than us.

Pretty much explains itself, gone are the days of Australian dominance, ushering in a new era where we routinely get demolished by Scotland and Italy.

Reason 5: Global Warming.

Recent studies have shown that Global Warming is the number 1 reason for Australia losing Rugby Union matches.

 

[Shaggy]

You missed, the players holding the power, the Super franchises not delivering some of the key players in a fit state, injuries, and the ARU's failure to put in place systems to create greater player depth.

I strongly disagree with your point number four ... the boffins not involved in collecting your global warming data , indicate that the Wallabies regularly have beaten all of the other sides (except the All Blacks), which is why they have maintained their number two IRB rating.

.... Relax, the same Global warming study also indicated that the water polo team was going to get better

 

[The_Wol]

I wanted to avoid blaming injuries... we have the depth to field backup players easily... but for some reason we don't pick the right players.

 

[admartian]

Reason 1: Robbie Deans.

To be perfectly honest when Robzilla first came onto the scene for Australia he did some great things, it took him less than a season to change Quade Coopers ridiculous hairstyle to something alot more sensible. He paved the way for David Pocock to become one of the best opensides in the world by giving him more game time, he selected strong teams based on form. However lately Dingo has picked his teams based on his personal fave's rather than the in form players i.e. Drew Mitchell over Dom Shipperley, it took Mitchell doing his yearly party trick of snapping his hamstring to get Dom a look in.

Reason 2: Players.

Pat McCabe being played at center, Rob Horne existing, Berrick Barnes not having his kicking licence revoked and Nick Phipps in general. These are all problems Robbie the Reindeer needs to address, look at Patrick McCabe, the man is a giant, he runs hard, makes meters is an amazing player, his only weaknesses are he runs straight and he has the passing game of a double hand amputee, put the man at full back or wing... Rob Horne, yes okay he's an alright fella, he's not bad.... he's just not... anything really. (Don't get me started on Dave "The Ghost" Dennis) Berrick Barnes... yes I hate him we all know this, he kicks to much end of story... then we come to Nick "What is going on" Phipps... seriously Nicky boy is probably the 48th choice Halfback in Australia, he constantly looks like he has no idea what's happening or what sport he is playing, I'd have picked Richard Kingi or Matt Dunning before him.

Reason 3: The team is a mob of babies.

Never in my life have I seen a bigger mob of girls playing for our national team (In fact real girls would probably be tougher than these guys). They are all sooks, once the going gets tough they give up i.e. any time we've played New Zealand. Bring back the men of old, who took hits like boxers and dished them out like it was going out of style.

Reason 4: Everyone is better than us.

Pretty much explains itself, gone are the days of Australian dominance, ushering in a new era where we routinely get demolished by Scotland and Italy.

Reason 5: Global Warming.

Recent studies have shown that Global Warming is the number 1 reason for Australia losing Rugby Union matches.

****, never thought of it that way.

 

[TRF Mr Fish]

I agree with reason 3 at least...

 

[SelimNiai]

Do what most people here are doing and blame the Tories

 

[welshglory]

I think that's a bit unfair on McCabe.
First of all he's not fast enough to be an international winger, especially for a side like Australia.
I don't think he has the game to play fullback at that level either, his kicking game is much too poor. He's a centre or nothing else at this level, and imo he's the 3rd best 12 you have behind O'Connor and Tapuai. What other options do you realistically have at the moment?
At least he straightens the line, tackles very well and is regarded as a leader.

I agree about Horne though, he doesn't bring anything to the team.

I think you should give Dennis some time, he hasn't stood out but most 6's don't. You need that sort of guy who will get stuck in.

As for Barnes... well he isn't up to it anymore. Those bangs to the head have really messed him up and he will never be an attacking threat again. Although to be fair he was pretty solid at fullback in the last game.

 

[William18]

Quade Cooper is the number one problem. Having a go at Deans isn't going to help anyone.

 

[TNT88]

lmao nice rant

got to agree on Rob Horne

 

[ExcaLiBuR]

I think I can pick a better team than robbie deans. The ONLY reason deans has won a tri-nations is because of Ewen Mckenzie great coaching and Super Rugby ***le with the Reds. Robbie won the tri-nations with 8-9 Reds in starting lineup all playing same winning style as Ewen. THEN came RWC and he changes everything around, gone of the days of awesome fast attacking rugby, and puts players that are not at wallabie level yet as wallabies.

Then this year he doesnt pick any new Brumbies players, even tho they are the most entertaining and probably the best players in Aus right now... keeps same old wannabies as wallabies... he thinks he can do what Ewen did before but with different people... why is everyone 12 yrs old also? Nathan Sharpe is the only man left... look at AB and its like A grade vs yr 12 school kids.

 

[Darwin]

Quade Cooper is the number one problem. Having a go at Deans isn't going to help anyone.

While it is fashionable to blame Cooper for Australia's woes, the stats certainly don't back this up! Personally I'm not a big fan of Cooper, but Australia performs much better when he is in the team. Indeed they have won 70% of the matches he has played in, far exceeding Australia's overall win percentage during that period (59%). In fact, in the 17 matches during this period that Cooper didn't play in Australia won only 6/17 (35%!). So to summarize:
Cooper plays - win 70% of games.
Cooper doesn't play - win 35% of games.

That is pretty compelling evidence that Quade Cooper is important to Australia's success!

I think that's a bit unfair on McCabe.
First of all he's not fast enough to be an international winger, especially for a side like Australia.
I don't think he has the game to play fullback at that level either, his kicking game is much too poor. He's a centre or nothing else at this level, and imo he's the 3rd best 12 you have behind O'Connor and Tapuai. What other options do you realistically have at the moment?
At least he straightens the line, tackles very well and is regarded as a leader.

I agree entirely with this. I feel McCabe was very unfairly criticized last season, and is continuing to grow as a player as a midfield back. The days of a creative 12 are gone (at least at the moment) - nearly every international team now has a hard running 12 to get over the advantage line. McCabe runs great angles, and is a superb physical defender (I maintain he is the best defensive 12 in world rugby) - I think he is clearly Australia's best option at 12 at the moment, and will continue to improve as he gets more experienced.

I agree about Horne though, he doesn't bring anything to the team.

I think you should give Dennis some time, he hasn't stood out but most 6's don't. You need that sort of guy who will get stuck in.

As for Barnes... well he isn't up to it anymore. Those bangs to the head have really messed him up and he will never be an attacking threat again. Although to be fair he was pretty solid at fullback in the last game.

Agree with most of this too. Like many I don't understand Australia's selectors fascination with Horne - he seems a solid Super Rugby player, but that is about it.

Dennis is very under-rated in my opinion, and exactly what Australia need in the 6 jersey. He gets criticized for being invisible, but that is because he is busy doing the 'dirty work' like cleaning out rucks, and pushing in mauls (rather than standing on the wing like Higginbotham!). I think he is starting to develop nicely in the Aussie 6 jersey, and we have started to see him use his running game a lot more in recent weeks.

Reason 4: Everyone is better than us.

Pretty much explains itself, gone are the days of Australian dominance, ushering in a new era where we routinely get demolished by Scotland and Italy.

Like Shaggy, I have to disagree on this point. Everyone isn't better than Australia. New Zealand very clearly is, but Australia are still ranked number 2 in a the world for a good reason! The have a winning record over all of the top teams barring New Zealand in the Deans' era (assuming we don't consider Scotland and Samoa 'top teams'!), and have an incredibly recent record over South Africa (won the last 5 in a row I think?). So while Australia may not be that good at the moment, apart from New Zealand no other team really is!

 

[The_Wol]

Dennis is also 150 years old, so why not give up and comers who had better Super Rugby seasons a go i.e. Jake Shatz.... You say the days of creative 12's are over? I'd say they're just beginning..... we've had 15 years of run straight Mortlock types, but at least Mortlock could pass, McCabe cannot... Horne does not, Tapuai is a better 12/13 than McCabe any day of the week, that said it will be about 2 games before McCabe does his usual party trick of ****ing his shoulder and not being able to play again for 4 months.

 

[Darwin]

Dennis is also 150 years old, so why not give up and comers who had better Super Rugby seasons a go i.e. Jake Shatz....

Dennis is 26. That is not even close to being old for a loose-forward! I like the look of Schatz, and I'm sure he would have been more involved if he wasn't struggling with a shoulder injury (if he was fit I would even consider starting him at number 8!).

You say the days of creative 12's are over? I'd say they're just beginning..... we've had 15 years of run straight Mortlock types, but at least Mortlock could pass, McCabe cannot... Horne does not, Tapuai is a better 12/13 than McCabe any day of the week, that said it will be about 2 games before McCabe does his usual party trick of ****ing his shoulder and not being able to play again for 4 months.

Disagree entirely. Almost ever international team is opting for a harder running 12, rather than a more creative option, and for good reason. How many teams in international rugby that have a creative 12? Nonu? F Steyn? de Villiers? Barritt? Sean Lamont? Roberts? Heck England have even played Manu Tuilagi at 12 recently! There is an odd occasion where international teams play a more creative option at 12 - what I would consider a traditional 'second-five eighth' (e.g. England playing Farrell at 12, Argentina with Fernandez at 12), but this is very rare these days, where previously it was the norm.

You mention Mortlock as a straight running 12, which he was later in his career, but for the majority of his career he was a 13, with Australia playing creative options such as Giteau and Barnes inside him. Australia, like New Zealand, have almost always played a more creative ' second-five eighth' - it has only been in the last 5-6 years that New Zealand have opted for a harder running option in that position (Umaga, then Nonu), while Australia really only opted for this in the last couple of years.

I've got a lot of time for Tapuai too - he offers a strong running option (with a good step), and has some good playmaking skills (I thought he should have been starting at 12 while McCabe was out injured). I would almost be tempted to go with a Tapuai/McCabe midfield, with Ashley-Cooper at fullback (though I do prefer him at centre).

 

[profitius]

From an outside perspective.

How about injuries being a reason. With more super rugby games and internationals these days, Australia have more injuries. Australia never had a deep squad of players but always a superb first 15.

Also the Aussie pack are weaker than a lot of international sides. Therefore its interesting to see the backs getting a lot of the blame.

 

[The_Wol]

Disagree entirely. Almost ever international team is opting for a harder running 12, rather than a more creative option, and for good reason. How many teams in international rugby that have a creative 12? Nonu? F Steyn? de Villiers? Barritt? Sean Lamont? Roberts? Heck England have even played Manu Tuilagi at 12 recently! There is an odd occasion where international teams play a more creative option at 12 - what I would consider a traditional 'second-five eighth' (e.g. England playing Farrell at 12, Argentina with Fernandez at 12), but this is very rare these days, where previously it was the norm.

You mention Mortlock as a straight running 12, which he was later in his career, but for the majority of his career he was a 13, with Australia playing creative options such as Giteau and Barnes inside him. Australia, like New Zealand, have almost always played a more creative ' second-five eighth' - it has only been in the last 5-6 years that New Zealand have opted for a harder running option in that position (Umaga, then Nonu), while Australia really only opted for this in the last couple of years.

Almost every 12 you mentioned there has strong offloading skills (McCabe's only offloading skills in a tackle is when he drops the ball backwards by accident), or kicking skills (McCabe once kicked a ball more than 12 meters before it went out that is his biggest claim to fame) or they break tackles like a monster (Pat McDizzle, breaks the odd tackle, but he is not big enough to be considered a monster) or they are a Tuilagi (McCabe is in no way related to the Tuilagi's).

 

[Darwin]

Almost every 12 you mentioned there has strong offloading skills (McCabe's only offloading skills in a tackle is when he drops the ball backwards by accident), or kicking skills (McCabe once kicked a ball more than 12 meters before it went out that is his biggest claim to fame) or they break tackles like a monster (Pat McDizzle, breaks the odd tackle, but he is not big enough to be considered a monster) or they are a Tuilagi (McCabe is in no way related to the Tuilagi's).

So you are conceding that very few teams have creative options at 12 now? There is no doubt that McCabe's distribution skills need to improve, but I think he has definitely shown improvement in that area this season already. There is nothing wrong with McCabe kicking skills (he used to be a fullback after all) - the fact he doesn't do much kicking at 12 is due to the fact these days 12's don't need to be doing much kicking! (hence the reason most teams don't opt for a second kicking option at 12...). I'm not in any way suggesting he is the perfect 12, just that he is the best option Australia has at the moment, and he has the skills to develop into a very good 12 at test level.

 

[The_Wol]

I'm not in any way suggesting he is the perfect 12, just that he is the best option Australia has at the moment, and he has the skills to develop into a very good 12 at test level.

Ben Tapuai, Mike Harris. Two players easily better than him, can tackle, can run, can pass, can kick.

 

[Darwin]

Ben Tapuai, Mike Harris. Two players easily better than him, can tackle, can run, can pass, can kick.

And, most importantly, play for the Reds

Both arguably have better kicking games than McCabe, though as I mentioned before McCabe's kicking game is fine for an international 12. They are also better distributors than McCabe, but in Harris's case that is where the advantages he has over McCabe end. As I mentioned before, I quite like Tapuai's running game, but saying Harris can run is like saying Quade Cooper can tackle. He can physically do it, but he is not any good at it! He would be one of the least threatening midfield players in Super Rugby - teams just drift of him, as even if he does run (which is seldom) he doesn't do it with any effect. While McCabe's running lacks subtlety, he is a very powerful runner who always gets over the advantage line, and makes more than the odd linebreak as he runs great lines. Defensively McCabe is in a completely different league to both Tapuai and Harris - I remember Australia winning a semi-final against South Africa on the back of his impenetrable defense (Pocock / Lawrence helped a bit too....).

 

[The_Wol]

And, most importantly, play for the Reds

Both arguably have better kicking games than McCabe, though as I mentioned before McCabe's kicking game is fine for an international 12. They are also better distributors than McCabe, but in Harris's case that is where the advantages he has over McCabe end. As I mentioned before, I quite like Tapuai's running game, but saying Harris can run is like saying Quade Cooper can tackle. He can physically do it, but he is not any good at it! He would be one of the least threatening midfield players in Super Rugby - teams just drift of him, as even if he does run (which is seldom) he doesn't do it with any effect. While McCabe's running lacks subtlety, he is a very powerful runner who always gets over the advantage line, and makes more than the odd linebreak as he runs great lines. Defensively McCabe is in a completely different league to both Tapuai and Harris - I remember Australia winning a semi-final against South Africa on the back of his impenetrable defense (Pocock / Lawrence helped a bit too....).

I remember the Reds winning a grand final and games against the Crusaders and Blues, in 2011 on the back of the Tapuai Faingaa center combination, Tapuai, rarely misses tackles and usually has a higher tackle rate than McCabe, McCabe has the amazing ability, to run the exact same line for 80 minutes....

 

[smartcooky]

From an outside perspective.

How about injuries being a reason. With more super rugby games and internationals these days, Australia have more injuries. Australia never had a deep squad of players but always a superb first 15.

Also the Aussie pack are weaker than a lot of international sides. Therefore its interesting to see the backs getting a lot of the blame.

That's because they have no credible third level domestic competition

New Zealand has.......
1. All Blacks
2. Super Rugby
3. ITM Cup & Heartland Championship
4. Club Rugby (Amateur)

South Africa has
1. Springboks
2. Super Rugby
3. Currie Cup
4. Vodacom Cup
5. Club Rugby (amateur)

France has
1. France
2. Top 14 & Heineken Cup
3. ProD2
4. Federale (amateur)

England has
1. England
2. Aviva Premiership & Heineken Cup
3. RFU Championship
4. National League 1 (amateur)

but Australia has
1. Wallabies
2. Super Rugby
3. Club Rugby (amateur)

They struggle to fill their fifth Super Rugby Franchise (Melbourne Rebels). They simply do not have enough local talent in the Shute Sheild and Hospital Cup competitions, which is why they have had to shore the side up with some overseas players like Danny Cipriani, Cooper Vuna and Gareth Delve.