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RWC viewing rules

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BokMagic

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To my dearest wife. Herewith follows the rules of access to the remote control and other rules that will apply during the RWC. Please note that these rules may in no way be discussed or broken. Failure to follow any of these rules will result in me fetching my .308 Sako Forrester hunting rifle and ending your life. End of discussion.

1- During the entire period of the RWC, the remote control for the TV, satellite and the DVD recorder will remain my sole property. Absolutely no single exception will be made. Not even for soapies. And no, just because I`ve already watched a particular match, doesn`t mean that I don`t have to watch the replay, and the highlights package.

2- During the entire RWC period, you will not be allowed to move in front of the TV. Not even if you`re naked. Or performing vile sexual acts with Keira Knightley. Absolutely no exceptions to this rule. If one of our kids crawls in front of the TV, you`ll be allowed to crawl after it, but that`s it.

3- During the entire period of the RWC, all domestic duties will be handed over to you. And that includes the garden. So if our lawn starts to resemble the Okavango Delta, by all means mow it yourself. Just not while I`m watching, as the noise will prove quite unacceptable.

4- In addition to all the household chores, you will be required to ensure a constant supply of Castle Lager, Johnny Walker whiskey, and of course biltong and boerewors.

5- For the entire period of the RWC, there will be no talking while I`m watching a game. You will only be allowed to ask me if I need a refill for my drink. And then only during breaks in play. And please, in the unlikely event of my team losing a match, do NOT, under any circumstances, attempt to console me by saying something like "It`s only a game."

6- During the entire period of the RWC, our social life will come to an end. Do not even ask if we can go to some or other dinner party. The only exception to this rule will be when one of my mates invites us over for a braai to watch the rugby. Then we`ll be required to leave in a flash.

7- Any form of illness from your side will not be tolerated during this period. If you have an ailment, FFS just toughen up, and wait `till after the RWC before you go to the doctor.



So, do you guys reckon I`ll get away with it? Discuss.
 
im liking these rules alot and may implement them with my current gf, and add 8. no calling me at any time during which a match or any rugby related program is schedualled
 
I had one of these e-mailed to me last week. I printed it out on A3 and pinned it to the notice board at work.......the boss has never been so happy in his life.



Here's some more of the rules.



8. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
a) I will not go,
B) I will not go, and
c) I will not go.
 
i agree with all those rules bar the keira knightly one.

sometimes you have to take one for the team.
 
I've never been to south africa before, but it sounds like a magical land where men can make such demands and keep their testicles intact!! i want in!!

but seriously, i know i will be all good for the Australia matches, and the finals, but other than that it will be a serious war of attrition. i may just go and make a mess before every game so that she is distracted..
 
I think you'll be ok until she gets to the part where she does the garden and gets you your drinks ;)

I'm lucky, when there is rugby on tv, in this house there is rugby on tv :) Even if it is a 10hr super 14 marathon.
 
i am good for the world cup this year, sent the girlfriend off to the states for a year, a good excuse for her to go was that i would be having peace and quiet during the cup.

though if she decided to come back with keira i would give up the rugby for the night, unless it was the final and tell them to start without me.
 

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