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Tales of the Unexpected

S

St Helens RLFC

Guest
What a great day I had yesterday. Positively hilarious, in fact.

In the morning I was attacked by a rather large seagull as I crossed the road where it was stood on the pavement. I had no other place to cross and I couldn't walk in the main road because... well, it was a main road, and I'm not getting mown down for no seagull, fool! Anyhow, it wouldn't get out of my way, so I lazily swung my carrier bag at it and stamped my foot. It was after some bread on the floor. It let me past but not before snapping at my foot.

I wasn't going to be having any of that, so I picked the bread up, and threw it down a grid, pointing at the gull and going HA HA at the top of my voice. It looked like it was going to fly at me and I was going to have to flee but it relented and just looked ****** off instead.

And then, on my way home, I saw a happy slapper get happy slapped. Brilliant. This girl who was just stood at the bus got attacked by this other girl and her friend (who filmed the attack) but in 15 seconds, both were unconcious on the floor and the mobile phone smashed on the floor. Absolutely top drawer.

Who said travelling to and from work was dull.....?
 
R

RoyalBlueStuey

Guest
And then, on my way home, I saw a happy slapper get happy slapped. Brilliant. This girl who was just stood at the bus got attacked by this other girl and her friend (who filmed the attack) but in 15 seconds, both were unconcious on the floor and the mobile phone smashed on the floor. Absolutely top drawer.

Who said travelling to and from work was dull.....?
[/b]

Fantastic stuff...I hope you applauded the victor
 
W

wigan_rlfc

Guest
You picked up a piece of bread off the floor just so a seagull would go hungry?
 
M

Mr Bean

Guest
 
S

St Helens RLFC

Guest
You picked up a piece of bread off the floor just so a seagull would go hungry? [/b]

I picked it up and threw it as a revenge measure for pecking at me. It's a shitehawk, it will have found a meal elsewhere. Perhaps the two happy slappers' corpses....
 
E

..::ERIC::..

Guest
Very well done. I hate seagulls. We had fish n chips at the beach the other day and they hover around like homeless people wanting change. They bloody **** all near your food. So when we were done we threw chips at the sea so they had to have wet chips. Pathetic, yes. Pointless, no.
 
B

BokMagic

Guest
Well, at least they do have one useful function- there were a shiteload of shitehawks out today at Supertubes, so I knew not to go for a quick post-work surf- might just have become shark-bait if I went!
 
S

St Helens RLFC

Guest
Sharks are a much more interesting problem than seagulls to be fair! Do you see many?
 
B

BokMagic

Guest
Don`t see many sharks over here- but there have been a few attacks- over December we had an out-of-town surfer getting bitten just around the corner from our place, right here in Paradise Beach. Fortunately us locals know when to stay out of the water- and a good indicator is when there are lots of seagulls around on a given spot. Sharks also tend to be less active in the winter, when our water temp. drops to 15C, so that`s actually a better time to hit the surf over here. Then again, a good mate of mine, after getting 67 stitches off a shark bite, says that salt water in shark bite wounds builds character......
 
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